It was merely a handful of years ago we were drunk dancing on tables, funneling 40’s, and late night snacking without thinking twice. Flash forward to now where most of us…have become liars. Yes, I’m calling you bitches out. We lie not just because it’s easy but because it makes us feel better. It helps make this twenty-something struggle not feel so…strugglesome.
Lie #1 : Paycheck
Although we feel old in our post-college life, in the workplace we are going up against 30, 40, and 50-somethings in our job field. Therefore, were forced to start at the bottom working our way up and shit, do our paychecks reflect that. We all add a few more zeros to our paycheck when it comes up in discussion. Why we feel the pressure to even do that is absurd since our shoebox of an apartment we live in is fooling no one. It’s okay, we’re all broke.
LIE:
REALITY:
Lie #2: Sex Life
Your life is NOT a “Sex and the City” episode. No, you are not Samantha. You’re not having sex every night/weekend. A certain amount of sugar coat is always used when dealing with relationships – “first dates are so fun” (no, they’re interviews with drinks involved.) “She says she doesn’t want to get married.” (she’s lying so you will continue to date her). When it comes to anything with relationships – we lie all the fucking time.
LIE:
REALITY:
Lie #3: Drinking Tolerance
YOU CANNOT DRINK LIKE YOU’RE 21. Let’s stop trying to and just enjoy our two glasses of wine and push aside that Malibu.
LIE:
REALITY:
Lie # 4: Job Details
We’ve all come into this routine of being in the work-world. And, it’s far less than perfect. Some people hate their boss, some people hate their co-workers, whatever the level of disgust that comes with our job (because no job is perfect unless you are a trust fund baby and don’t work) then we lie and say we’re happy in it.
LIE:
REALITY:
Lie #5: Family
You don’t have a normal family and there’s pretty much a guarantee you’re going to marry into a family that’s normal too. The crazy uncle, the drunk obnoxious cousin, the aunt that talks about way too many personal details. Embrace the weirdness we all have in our family tree.
LIE:
REALITY:
Lie #6: Newsfeed
All together now: no one gives a fuck about your newsfeed. What a crazy revelation but here’s the thing — even though we all say social media is invasive/dumb/a waste of time – we post all important and brag-worthy moments. Why? Because we need others to know that we are having THE BEST TIME EVER. Are we in reality? No. It’s a lie. Of course I’m not going to post a photo of myself binge watching “The Sopranos” on a Saturday night with a bottle of Trader Joe’s wine – I’m going to post the photo of me and my friends having a beach bonfire living like we are in an episode of “The OC” because that looks better and we all need the validation to feel like we are better.
LIE:
REALITY:
