Superstitions are not real. Aly wore these red, white, & blue earings each time she competed and OBVIOUSLY they didn’t end up working. They worked the first few times, but in the all around they made her lose balance. So like, earings aren’t magical?! Wtf?!  Does this means it’s okay if  I don’t wear the first pair of underwear I see each morning?

People are selfish. Sure Aly and Jordyn are ‘friends,’ but the world (literally – the world) saw her burst into tears when she found out she did not make the next round, but her friend Aly did. There was no happiness for Aly. Just sadness for herself.

Girls are fake. Okay, I’ll admit it – I’ve stalked all of your Twitter accounts. I see the 3-girl-clique going on her. And yes I’m talking about you Aly, Jordyn, and McKayla. But should we really believe all 3 of you are ‘best’ friends – nevermind all 5 of you? Should we? Not only is the 3-girl-clique excluding their 2 teammates in certain tweets and pics, but all 5 are competing against each other and Kayla Ross is like 5. And, umm, we all watched Jordyn cry her eyes out when her so-called bff unexpectedly made it to the all around finals.

Parents live vicariously through their children. Aly’s parents did not just watch her do her routines. They were basically doing the routine with her from their seats. I felt like I was watching them on some simulated motion ride (MOM at Jordan’s Furniture anyone?). They looked like they were watching a roller coaster and their seats were moving along with the video. However I get it. Parent’s of 5 year olds playing t-ball get intense, so I can’t imagine how parents dealing with kids competing against other countries with the WORLD watching feel. Anyway, what was with that face Aly’s dad made after she hit her routine? I loved it. He should make that face every day.


There is no such thing as a tie. Someone always wins. Sure Aly Raisman tied with the Russian girl for 3rd, but did she get 3rd? No. Did she get the bronze and the title? No. BUT WHY? She tied. Why was there a need for a tie breaker? The Olympics proves to us that people are not created equal. People are either 1 of 2 things – 1. Better than you or 2. Not as good as you. And if you win a gold, no one is better than you. Everyone else is just not as good.

After high school, you really do start getting old. In high school you were young. And later in college you were still young. But you were, like, maturing each year. And then all of a sudden you graduated and became this alumni who goes to work every day. With all the changes taking place, your body got weak and now you can’t do what you used to do. You aren’t as flexible. Your body doesn’t move as well as it used to. Olympic gymnasts are at their prime at 17. They end up retiring at 22. It’s effed.

Anything can happen. If these girls can successfully flip over balance beams and bars and vaults and floors on a regular basis, the possibilities in this world are endless. Right?

‘Let’s take a funny pic!’

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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