These days, almost everyone who is single uses a dating app. And it’s no surprise. Most twentysomethings spend more time looking at their phone screens instead of other humans, so it’s only natural that we would rely on our phones to find love.
I’ll admit it, I’m not in love with the world on online dating, but I don’t know what the alternative is. It’s like, if this is my only hope at finding someone to bring home for Thanksgiving, don’t worry about that extra plate, Mom and Dad. It’s probably not going to happen.
Here are eight reasons I hate dating apps.
1. You have to put effort into it, and it’s a lot of work.
Okay, I know I’m just confirming the “lazy millennial” stereotype here, but there’s a lot of work involved when it comes to dating apps. First you have to set up an account. Then you have to keep up with your account. Then you always have to think of something clever to say. No one responds to “hello” or “how are you.” It’s just a lot of effort, and I’m already super busy.
2. You have to set aside a lot of hours to keep up with it.
Tinder users spend an average of 90 minutes a day on the app. Honestly, who has that much free time? I have enough to do when it comes to interacting with the people who are in my life already. I don’t have time to spend hours searching for a new stranger friend.
3. I don’t like being judged solely by a photo.
You can spend hours trying to make your pictures look dating-app-worthy, but it’s never going to be good enough to capture all the complexity and depth that would go into dating you. You’ve got to find this unachievable balance between sexy and lovable, adventurous and chill. Photoshop could help, but unfortunately that would only make you look more attractive and less trustworthy. Not worth it.
4. I don’t like judging others based on a photo.
Just because you know you should dig deeper into someone’s background doesn’t mean that you actually will. You’re already spending 90 minutes on these stupid apps! There’s no time to do a deep dive into someone’s interests, personality, family life, etc. So instead, you judge everyone superficially and FAST, and then you’re shocked when you don’t find the love of your life.
5. No one is really that memorable.
Yeah, you could apply this to life as a whole, but you’re much more likely to remember someone if you meet them in person than on an app. Hell, your mind can only remember about 150 people anyway, so you literally don’t have the capacity to waste on that match from last week. Chances are, you’ve already forgotten about them, and now there’s 10 more new people waiting for you to message them back. No matter how great a connection you had with someone, it’s over once someone “better” comes along, and they nearly always do.
6. Meeting a stranger on the internet is actually kind of dangerous.
It’s a hell of a lot safer than your grandma thinks it is, but anytime you give personal information about yourself over the internet, you’re taking a big risk. The person on the other side can do a lot of damage with just your full name and where you live. It’s scary, so trust your instincts and don’t give much personal information to someone without getting to know them first. Better safe than sorry.
Also, STDs are on the rise and some think it’s because of dating apps. Different kind of risk, but protect yourself all the same!
7. Even though there are an endless amount of people to choose from, that doesn’t mean you’ll get a date.
You might be a big fish in a small pond, but dating apps make that pond a whole lot bigger. Because of increased competition, busy schedules, and memory loss, one-third of users have never gone on a date with someone they met online. So there’s a 33 percent chance that all this effort won’t be worth anything anyway…
8. I don’t like playing the game of who is the most ‘casual.’
Apps like this promote the whole idea that whoever cares the least has all the power. Don’t respond to messages too fast, don’t give off any impression that you actually like them, make sure that they know you have other options, keep it casual. This game happens in real life too, but it’s magnified in online dating because there are so many other options. The risk of getting hurt is a lot higher and a lot more real if you decide to actually care.
But I get the stakes are a lot higher in real life. You can’t use a filter, you have to actually put effort into making yourself look good, you’ve got to actually go somewhere, actually have something interesting to talk about. I’m not saying in-person dating is better, but dating apps aren’t working either. Maybe it’s just that whole “finding someone” thing that’s hard.
Dating all together sucks. But we’ve got to do it if we want to find that special someone, right?
