Let’s face it, whether it’s by choice or just a temporary dry spell, being single around Valentine’s Day is like fasting during Thanksgiving – there are constant reminders of what you’re missing.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m single (because I’ve felt this way even when in a relationship), but I personally think Valentine’s is a big load of crap. There is SO much pressure and hype surrounding this one day, I just don’t understand why anyone is still buying in to it. That said, it’s inevitably irritating to be a party of one when all the buzz for weeks leading up to February 14th is about love and romance.
So here’s a twist on the angsty anti-V-Day posts you’ve grown accustomed to seeing in your newsfeed this time of year. ‘Cause I’m not mad; I’m actually more okay with being single because I have a dog, and I think she’s easier to manage than having a significant other.
Here’s just a few reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends:
1) Dogs never cheat. Sure, they’ll seek affection from other people when you have friends over; they’ll sniff the butts of other dogs; but they will never give their loyalty to anyone but you. The closest they’ll come to cheating on you is humping a stranger’s leg… I can live with that.
2) Dogs don’t judge. Spending the entire weekend in pj’s? Wearing granny panties? Bad hair day? Vanity is not a concept they understand, so you can have as many fat days as you want, and you’ll never have to worry about a comment like “you sure you want to wear that?” being uttered.
Hey Fido, does this make my ass look fat?
Umm, I don’t know… but I know I love you!
3) Dogs are always there for you. I don’t care what anyone tells you – dogs know when you’re upset. They will comfort you and snuggle with you and wag their way into cheering you up. Puffy and snot faced? There, there human… I shall love on you anyway.
This brings me to my next point…
4) Dogs have no problem expressing affection. Read: Built in cuddle-buddy! I don’t know any guy who likes cuddle as much as a dog. You many never get to be little spoon, but you will always have a warm body next to you. PDA? Totally cool, too.
5) They are always excited to see you. Got stuck in a meeting? Traffic on the way home? Doesn’t matter, you’ll be met with a wagging tail regardless.
OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK HIIIIIIIII
6) They never drunk text you/come home drunk. Of course, they can’t text you, but they also wouldn’t if they could. And you never have to worry about them having a few too many out with the boys. R-E-S-P-E-C-T… dogs know what’s up.
7) They’re trainable. I don’t know if they exist, but it would probably be frowned upon if you tried to send your S.O to obedience class. Dogs, on the other hand, love learning ways to impress you and win your gushing approval. Men? There’s not a ton they can be trained to do for a belly rub.
8) They are great listeners. Had an awful day? Dealing with a life crisis? No need to call friends or pay for a therapist… you’ve got your pup! While they can’t offer feedback or advice, they’ll never interrupt you, tell you to hurry up and finish your story, or make you feel bad about yourself with an “I told you so” (ahem, mom). Tell your furry friend what’s going on in your life and you’ll feel so much better having gotten it off your chest. And if you need a little more cheering up, see #3 above.
9) They love your friends. Fluffy will never complain about the company you keep. Having friends over? More people = more hands for petting. If only my ex’s had been so accepting of my bff’s.
Of course, I’m not suggesting that dogs should replace a significant other, but they sure do make up for not having one to come home to. Now quit your sulking and put those chocolates down… take Fido for a walk and enjoy the fact that you’re single and loved by a wiggly, wagging pup.
