6:00 AM

Alarm clock goes off, “Mom 5 more minutes!!!” Oh wait, I’m 23 and live in a crappy studio apartment never mind. Ugh I don’t want to get up.

I Don't Want To

6:45 AM

Okay, I’m up! What day is it? Coffee!!!! Or wine? Jk…but not really.


That first sip = HEAVEN

8:00 AM

I’m going to be late. Maybe not, if I don’t hit traffic, HA! That’s funny! I’m definitely going to be late.

What Now

9:30 AM

I’m already starving! And, I forgot my snack…Can we do a McDonalds run? Shit, my diet starts today. Just kidding, Kale Chips for one please! FML


9:31 AM

Fuck my diet, I’ll start tomorrow.

Wheres My Food

11:00 AM

I really wish we still had naptime, pretending to work, g-chatting and checking Twitter is exhausting.

I Need A Nap

12:00 PM

I hate every single person I work with…WAIT do I smell French Fries?


2:00 PM

If I was still in high school my day would be over right now…I should probably refresh my Twitter or do something productive with my life.

I Can't 1 I Can't 2

3:00 PM

Diet DEFINITELY starts tomorrow; my pants are annoyingly tight. Maybe I should Pintrest easy workouts I can do at my desk…then I can print them out for motivation. Fuck, here comes my boss, where’s my email? OPEN, please open!

Im Working

4:10 PM

4ish really counts at 5:00 right? Drinks anyone?


5:00 PM

FREEDOM!!! I should probably work out…

I Hate Exercise

5:02 PM

Ha, JK. I’m going to Happy Hour at *insert Trendy Bar in your town/city here*

Get The Pinot

6:00 PM

I’ll probably just have one more glass…

Give Me That

9:30 PM

Fuck, I have to work tomorrow…Why do I have this job again?

Exhausted, Done

10:00 PM

I really wish I was a Real Housewife…Maybe I should just marry rich?





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