Alcohol and Dating: When Your Preferences Differ

We’ve all been in a situation where the person you are seeing enjoys different activities than you. For instance, he just wants to lie in bed and you want to go for a run… or she just wants to watch a marathon of Keeping up with the Kardashians and you just want to watch football. Whatever the difference may be, these little disagreements are what make your relationship healthy. No two people can be exactly alike… and if you are, that must be one BORING relationship. However, what happens when your significant other wants to get rage blackout drunk and you just want to drink wine and eat cheese with, like, three people?

Alcohol can be a burden on relationships. If you like to drink (a lot), should you go find another border line alcoholic just so you can be with someone who likes to drink as much as you?

And if you do not drink at all, should you find another boring person so you two can sit on the couch, split a pint of ben and jerrys, and fall asleep before 11 every weekend night? Where is the fun in that???

Having different preferences toward alcohol is not a bad thing in a relationship… Unless, of course, one of you clearly has a severe drinking problem OR one of you is ultra boring and hates fun.

Here are some situations you may have found, will find, or are currently finding yourself in… and if they are manageable or ditch-worthy:

He/she likes drinking until 6am. You like drinking until 1am (or staying in). There are two easy solutions to this “problem:” 1. Compromise. Stay out until 2am or 3am one night (you can live a little) and stay in the next night… This may help your signif other remember that they’re not in college anymore. 2. Let your girl/guy have their occasional night on the town with their friends (without you) every once in a while. However, no grown person should be staying out until 6am every weekend night, so if he/she does not mature and stop partying so hard while they’re with you – you will know that they’re just not taking your relationship very seriously (think Scott Disick). That is when you will know that you are TOO different to have a successful relationship.

You like going out to the club. He/she like going out to the local bar around the corner. Just like we have all learned from Jersey Shore, your relationship will not be successful if all you BOTH want to do is “go to the club” (Thank you Sammi and Ronnie). If you’re into the club scene and your signif other isn’t, that’s great! He/she can help bring you down to earth, so you’re not spending every weekend night at “the club.” Clubs are full of dancing and creeping guidos, and since you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t be going there to look for anything anymore. Sure, it’s okay to go there once in a while with your friends, but why not spend some time at the local sports bar with your guy/girl? Not only will you save some extra cash, but you’ll also branch out and won’t be doing the SAME thing every weekend.

He likes going out for dinner and drinks all the time. You like going out for dinner… occasionally. When you first start dating someone, you want that person to LIKE you. So whatever they like to do, you pretend to be into it too – even if you’re not. If you’re a health freak and he/she isn’t, you don’t want to scare your new flame off by refusing to go out to dinner because you need to lose two pounds by Friday (okay, maybe that’s just me???). So you go, and you order a drink because they did… and then you feel horrible and gross… but you would NEVER admit that yet… so you do it again… and again… and again. You should probably just say something – especially if you’re paying. And if you don’t want a drink, don’t get one just because they are. I cannot see this escalating into a bigger problem that will involve a break up… especially if they are paying… so all you have to do is speak up – or else your relationship will probably end for that reason and more.