“This is my friend, Liz.”

Screeeeeeech. I’m your WHAT?!

I’m sure I’m not the only one to ask the age-old question, “WHAT ARE WE?!” This is quite possibly the most frustrating situation a girl could ever be in. I was stuck in this for two grueling months.

So maybe you’re friends, maybe you’re more, maybe you just haven’t established it yet. Or in extreme cases, you’re considered your boyfriend’s little brother. But do not get alarmed if you’re introduced as “friend” at first. Do not overanalyze this. I made this mistake. Friend zone does not have to be permanent.

Unless you want to flat out ask your potential significant other what is your situation, first ask yourself these questions.

Who is paying? If he’s paying, chances are he probably wants it to go somewhere, or he just feels obligated. Of course at the end of the date you pull out your wallet and act like you want to pay for your half, but really you’re expecting him to insist no, no, he’s got it. This is a good sign.

Who is texting first? If he’s texting you first, you are obviously on his mind. Unless the text reads, “sup,” in that case respond with a snarky “nmu?” and run for the hills.

How is he acting? Kinda nervous? Adorably complimentary? Good signs. Probably means he cares what you think. All signs that you are dating or on your way to that.

What is he wearing? T-shirt? Sorry, you’re friend zoned. Button-up? Now we’re talking.

Is he keeping you a secret? Red flag. If no one in his circle knows about you, you’re not dating.

Do I care about a label? Yes, you do care, and if you say you don’t you’re lying. Maybe you don’t care about labeling whatever romantic situation you’re in but wouldn’t it be nice to know what it is?

The good news is I found out this guy was (and still is) in fact my boyfriend, but my friends found out before I did. Hey, it never hurts to ask.


Liz Witter is a 2011 graduate of St. Bonaventure University where she majored in broadcast journalism with a (useless) minor in French. She is originally from Rochester, NY but moved to Boston for a job...then another job. She spends her free time sleeping, going to Sephora or doing crafts. She plays volleyball recreationally and refuses to believe she peaked in high school. She’ll take Tim Hortons over Dunkin, and Wegmans over basically anything. You can follow her on Twitter at @lwitta6.

1 Comment

  1. I thought I was the only one whose boyfriend said I was his little brother! Sometimes he dresses me in overalls and a sideways baseball cap and makes me play trucks with him/rub fudge over my face.


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