We all want to be happy, so why do we seem to struggle with achieving this goal?  For the most part, we have control over our happiness but still end up standing in our own way.  Here are a few things you should let go of in order to be more content in your everyday life:



1. Friends who always say “let’s hangout” but never follow through.

Actions speak louder than words, and just saying “let’s get together soon” has no value unless you actually do make plans.  I know a lot of people who are constantly suggesting plans but never actually participating in them.  It’s frustrating and a waste of time. You should consider dropping the dead weight.

2.  The idea that you need to live up to other people’s standards.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who has to live with yourself.  Who cares what other people think you should be doing with your life? They’re not living it, you are.  Don’t waste valuable time trying to please anyone but yourself.

3.  Relationships that hurt you and you didn’t grow from.

Relationships end for a reason. Maybe it was your choosing, maybe not. Regardless of how it ended, it still ended. Dwelling on past relationships doesn’t allow you to move on with future ones.  It’s almost impossible to have a healthy relationships if you’re still thinking about how you’ve been hurt in the past.  Forgive, forget and move on.

4.  Feeling sorry for yourself.

People who feel sorry for themselves are the worst.  Spoiler alert: you’re not the only one with problems.  Everyone has shitty days. As soon as you realize that you can change your circumstances if you put in a little effort, you will (hopefully) reap the rewards of your hard work and your friends will probably stop avoiding you.

5.  Focusing on your flaws.

Insecurities affect everyone, even Beyonce.  It’s easy to look in the mirror and pin point all the things you want to change.  We’re all guilty of this, men and women alike. As hard as it may be, once you learn to accept yourself for who you are, the sooner you’ll be able to really be confident and happy.

6. Making excuses for everything.

There will never be the perfect time for anything.  Stop telling yourself you will go to the gym tomorrow because it’s raining today, look for a new job when you have time or that you can’t possibly go out and meet your friends because you’re so busy. We make time for the things that are important to us. Re-evaluate your priorities, and if there is something you really want to accomplish, stop making excuses and just do it.

7.  Being afraid to say no.

We live in a world where everyone is saying yes to everything, from requests from your boss or co-workers  to plans you don’t actually want to go to.  We’re getting burnt out doing things that don’t even make us happy.  Learn how to say no and you will find yourself with a lot of extra time to do the things you enjoy.

8.  Jealousy.

There’s really no point in being jealous. If someone has the fit body you wish you had, then go to the gym. If you’re single and wish you had a boyfriend, then get out there and meet people.  If you can’t help but hate the girl who goes on the amazing trips you wish you were taking, then save your money and plan your own vacation. You control your life and being jealous will only foster negativity and resentment.

9.  Waiting for good things to fall at your feet.

This is unrealistic and probably never going to happen.  It’s highly unlikely that someone is going to gift you a million dollars for no reason or that your dream job offer is going to literally fall into your inbox. We all wish for those kinds of things, but the chances of them happening are slim to none.  You have to work for what you want and actively create the life you want to be living.

10.  Regret.

The literal definition of regret is “a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.”  Key words here are “has happened” and “been done.”  These are words for the past.  No matter how hard you try and how many times you make a wish at 11:11 pm, you cannot change the past. Think of regrets as lessons learned, and make an effort to do better in the future.

11.  Grudges.

Don’t waste any of your energy thinking about someone who wronged you. You either forgive and move forward with your relationship or you don’t forgive and just move on.

12.  The idea that a relationship, a vacation, new clothes, etc. will make you happy.

Everyone says “money can’t buy happiness.” While it can buy instant gratification, it won’t buy you any happiness long-term.  Even if you get a new pair of shoes, there will always be a new pair you want more.  Even if a relationship can make you feel less alone, another person shouldn’t be the reason you’re happy. Happiness comes from the inside out, not the other way around.

13.  Judgment.

Judging someone else is only a reflection on yourself. How other people choose to live their lives has absolutely nothing to do with you.  There is nothing to be gained by judging someone else, so actively try to avoid it all together.


Jen is a Boston based dog mom and coffee addict. Working full time in sales to feed her online shopping habit and writing to keep herself sane. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @jaycsoule

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