They’re back. The boy bands are back. And as a 23-year-old, I’m not ashamed at all in the fact that I’m happy about this. This is probably also because I’m a self-declared Britney fan and blast “Call Me Maybe” an inappropriate number of times as I weave my way through the Chicago suburbs each day, complete with pretending like I’m a lip-syncing part of the Tisdale-Gomez-Bieber YouTube clip. Basically, I love pop music. I never fully outgrew my days of pop stardom obesession, from switching from Team BSB to Team NSync as soon as I realized Justin > Nick to practicing the “You Drive Me Crazy” Britney dance in my basement.
There are only two songs I’ll currently allow to interrupt my bubblegum pop repeated loop of Carly Rae Jepsen, and that is “Glad You Came” by The Wanted and “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction, both UK-based boy bands. Now, I’m going to analyze the differences between these two dreamy bands, without picking one over the other because honestly, you need both in your lives for different reasons.
When it comes to The Wanted, from their stranded desert setting on their album, complete with attempts at brooding, sultry stares to their not-so-subtle seduction via their hit song, they’re your one night stand of boy bands. They’re hot. They see you across the bar and claim “you put a spell on them.” They have all the right things to say, especially when you’re probs blacked out of your mind in this Ibiza club as displayed in their music video. Plus, they’re handing you drinks on drinks on drinks, telling you to “drink it if you can,” so you know you’re in for a wild ride. And let’s face it, after the assumed mind-blowing bang sesh these guys probably execute, you’ll know what they really meant it when they said they’re “glad you came.”
As for One Direction, these guys are like your awesome best buds that you eventually decide are good enough for a relationship because well, why not? They’re cute. Not only are they telling you that you’re like, effing beautiful, but it’s because you don’t even know it! They don’t care about the babealicious slut parading in Louboutins and dancing on the bar because guess what? She’s aware of her beauty factor, and that’s just not capable of actually making her beautiful, ya know? When you “flip your hair” it makes them overwhelmed. Just smile at the ground, and you clearly have no idea you’re also totally babealicious. And that’s what your allure is to One Direction. This aloofness makes them “want you so desperately.” Again, let’s face it, all of that flattery at first is appreciated, but comes on a little strong. But who’s to say that on those days when you feel uglier than Britney Spears’ career circa 2007, you can’t give your self-confidence-boosting hottie a call?
So instead of separating into teams and trying to resurrect Carson Daly’s TRL career to begin the suspenseful countdown to who’s the better boy band of the day because a gaggle of fifth graders spent the most time hitting redial on their pink landlines, embrace each one for what they’re worth. And when you’re in a bind, just hit up Jepsen and ask her to record another ridiculously addicting tune to regain some middle ground.