The selection process when men look for women online is relatively simple. Everything is visual first and foremost. We tend to email the hottest women we see first, then slowly but surely, narrow way our down to the females who are lower on the totem pole in the looks department. Its not that we are shallow, its just that we are programmed to respond this way. It is in our genetic makeup.

Sure, many of us (hopefully most) still care about the other parts of a woman’s online dating profile. But unfortunately, nature has programmed us to think with the wrong head, and beauty can outweigh logic in our decision-making.

However, women are much different when it comes to their selection process, and this is what most men who sign up for online dating often fail to understand. Millions of men place all of their efforts into putting up good-looking profile pictures, and completely ignore just how important the written component of their online dating lives are.

This is the mistake that cripples the romantic lives of male online daters everywhere. The logic behind my argument is rather simple. It all comes down the fundamentals of how women feel and experience attraction.

While looks can and do play a role in how women develop feelings of attraction towards men, it is by far not the only trigger of attraction.

Just look at how many men in all walks of society, whom are far from the best looking men, walk down the street holding hands with beautiful women. This is because these men have figured out how to tap into attraction in ways that have nothing to do with their looks. In fact, according to my research, there are ten basic qualities that almost all women respond to that really don’t have anything to do at all with what we look like. Some examples are extreme confidence, appearing to be an alpha male, having social value, and more. These men may not be conscious of the fact that they have tapped into these attraction triggers, but they have clearly found a way to do so.

How does this translate to the written component of our online dating lives?

The 10 triggers of attraction that most women respond to are all based on our internal qualities, meaning, the fundamental personality traits of a man. And in the online world, the easiest way to showcase these internal qualities that women respond to is within the profiles we write, and the emails we create. All we have to do is learn what these triggers are, and figure out ways to use them.

If this is done properly, women will look read our profiles and emails and feel an attraction towards us that they can’t control.

Why? Because attraction isn’t a choice. When men see beautiful women, they feel an attraction without logically thinking about why they feel this way. We are just programmed as men to respond to visuals. Women on the other hand are programmed to respond to internal qualities. It is our job to showcase these internal qualities to make them feel a strong attraction as well. And it all starts with learning how to communicate properly through our words.

Our language is the tool that we must use to communicate and showcase our best selves in ways that make us rise to the top of the competition. So don’t focus all your efforts on photos. See the big picture, and work on those writing skills a.s.a.p.

Joshua Pompey is an online dating expert and has been providing relationship advice for years. For more online dating advice from Joshua Pompey, be sure to click here, where you will find free online dating profile examples. Or click online dating email examples for free information on emailing.


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