Tinder. Match.crap, I mean Match.com. Plenty of Fish. Christian Mingle. (Insert name of any other dating app or site.) The uniting factor of any dating site are stereotypical guy photos that need to be stopped. We see them all the time on social media too, but when spotted on a dating app/site, it makes it that much worse. So guys…if you have any of these photos and want a decent girl, keep in mind a picture is worth a thousand words, I would suggest swapping a few new ones in there. If you want a swipe to the right, a favorite or a wink, I suggest you rethink the list of pics below.
- Photos with small children. Maybe the child is their niece and nephew (adorable) but maybe they are 26 and have three kids (red flag.) If you do use a photo with the kiddies, make sure you clarify their relationship to you.
- Lots of girls in girlfriend-like poses that could be their current GF (douche bag move) or perhaps it is an ex-GF(still not over her, obvi.) And maybe it is totally innocent and is just their sister or cousin. We may never know.
- The series of blurry photos that look like they may have scanned it in from the 90s. What are they hiding? Or what kind of jankey phone are they using?
- The one with his happy trail and cut lines that show almost too much.
- The photo that shows wayyyy too much. Maybe they’re a porn star? But probably not. Leave a little mystery.
- The MySpace style selfie in a public bathroom. What are you 13 and have no friends? Judged.
- The series of photos where sunglasses are being worn in every pic (crazy eyes?)
- The photos where there are 10 guys and you can’t tell which is the real guy. You assume the shortest, ugliest one is the guy and they are using their large group of dudes to camouflage.
- The gym bicep selfie. Really? Just stop.
- The “I wish I was a model” photo shoot kind of photos. Did you pay someone to take artsy looking photos just for your online dating needs? You’re so vain; you probably think this whole post is about you.
- An abundance of fishing photos. Maybe this is only a Florida thing. But I don’t want to see you holding a dead fish especially if there is blood everywhere. And one fishing photo on the boat is enough. You don’t need five. We get it. You enjoy fishing.
- Tattoo only photos. Totally respect self-expression but there has to be more to you. Or maybe there isn’t.
- The “I cropped a chick out of my photo” kind of photos.
- Beers on beers on beers. No I am not impressed at how many photos you can take with beer in your hands.
- The “work hard, play harder” quote guy that only posts photos of extreme, dangerous sports and hobbies.
- The guy that looks like he travels the globe (bonus points) but he’s so far away in photos you are really clueless about what he looks like but have received a scenic tour around the world.
- The guy in a suit and tie (nice style) that takes a mirror selfie. You are obviously going somewhere great (or are you putting that much effort in to pretending), please just ask someone to take a solo shot of you at the actual event.
- The sun-glass, car selfie. Dangerous driver? Yes. Lame background? Yes.
- The photo collage. Rare siting but when they do pop up, the collage is an explosion of gym shots, lots of girls and selfies. This is the ultimate douchebag combo.
- The one photo guy. Really? Give us a little bit more to capture our visual interest.
Boys, consider this your chance to make your profile free of all the above photos. Guaranteed a few more swipes to the right and a few more winks.
