Dear today’s youth,

It may be a sign that I’m getting old, but there are a lot of things that you teens and 20-year-olds do that I just do not understand.

You wear crop tops. You are literally wearing half a shirt. You paid money for half clothing. It’s spring in the northeast, which means it’s still also winter, so your clothing choice is not sensible. You face the risk of gross guys touching your bare skin, and you cannot conceal the fact you just ate donuts or cookies or brownies or drank several beers. I’m sorry if you have fast metabolism and think you can pull this off, but I just do not get it.


You use abbrevs that I have to Google. I was horrified to see the pet name “bae” on Twitter recently, which according to Urban Dictionary means “baby” and the like. It is one more letter to type that. Or better yet, call your “bae” by their name. This is the least of the abbreviation epidemic. Only YOU can prevent the decline of the English language!


“Truth is….” Truth is, you probably shouldn’t be posting this open-ended statement on Facebook, as you may find out that a disgusting person has a crush on you, that some girl a few years older than you thinks you’re pretty, etc. You don’t need to post on Facebook for attention. And truth is, it’s crowding up my news feed.


You disclose way too much on social media. Did you not learn anything from To Catch a Predator? I could rattle off facts about people I don’t even know personally just because they post their life stories on FB. Everyone loves a little mystery, so before you post that picture of your breakfast and update your status to “driving to school!” ask yourself if it’s really necessary.

To sum it up, turn off your phone and laptop, put on a t-shirt and look at the world around you. Oh and tell your parents you love them. It’s not embarrassing.




Liz Witter is a 2011 graduate of St. Bonaventure University where she majored in broadcast journalism with a (useless) minor in French. She is originally from Rochester, NY but moved to Boston for a job...then another job. She spends her free time sleeping, going to Sephora or doing crafts. She plays volleyball recreationally and refuses to believe she peaked in high school. She’ll take Tim Hortons over Dunkin, and Wegmans over basically anything. You can follow her on Twitter at @lwitta6.

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