What is happening in the below picture really captures what most of us really think when we see or hear that someone is engaged — and it is great. Three friends (or so it appears) seem to have just gotten engaged and the “Where’s Waldo” girl in the corner is having none of it. While all of the other girls smile and point towards their friends’ newfound bling, this chick is all like “that’s three less prospective roommates, wing women, and fun friends… and I have to pay them for it.” She has to pay her friends be less fun. Who made up this little ritual?
When you’re in your twenties and people start getting engaged it’s pretty much a wake up call that life is in fact happening and it’s not waiting for you to get your act together. This forces a wide variety of thoughts to go through a 20-something woman’s head. And this picture, although the majority of the girls are smiling, speaks to that.
Here’s what each of the girls in the picture below are really thinking.
We’ll go clockwise starting with the top left…
Girl in black sweater: “Ugh, I am way too sober for this. I barely know any of of these girls. They’re kind of annoying. Why am I even here? Does this mean I’m going to be invited to all three weddings? I can’t afford one wedding, never mind three. I wonder if I can leave after this…”
Girl in black cardigan with large earrings: “I’m going to be alone forever. I hope there are mozzarella sticks left.”
Girl in red sweater: “AHH I’M TOTALLY GETTING INVITED TO ALL OF THESE WEDDINGS! My first friends’ weddings!!! This is so exciting. AHHHH”
Girl in black tank: “I need a vodka red bull and dance floor stat. Why are we the only girls at this party? I haven’t been to a house party since high school. Why couldn’t they celebrate their engagements at a bar?”
Girl in white shirt: “Bridesmaid… will I be a bridesmaid?”
Girl in black shirt: “Oh god. This is getting real. I should probably break up with my boyfriend ASAP if I want to find someone to marry any time soon.”
Girl in maroon dress: “[Girl in white onesie] and [fiance] are never going to last. Why would anyone want to get engaged now anyway? What is so appealing about a ring?”
Girl in black long sleeve shirt and tights: “I’m next. I’m totally next.”
Girl in white onesie: “I can’t believe I have to share the spotlight with these two. I don’t even like [girl in plaid shirt]. She’s so random. Why did they have to get engaged the same time as me? Ugh.”
Girl in blue sweater: “I hope they don’t all think they’re getting to invited to my wedding. Especially [girl in red dress]. Also, [her boyfriend] is totally cheating on her… with me”
Girl in plaid shirt: “Please, please let me go home. I would so much rather be in bed watching a movie with [fiance]. [Girl in white onesie]s’ friends are so annoying.”
Girl in red vest: “Kill me now.”
Red Vest definitely knows what’s up. It’s like, WHY MUST WE CELEBRATE THE RING? Why can’t we celebrate the relationship? Why can’t we all be like Red Vest and tell our friends how we really feel? I mean, who actually gets excited to drop an obscene amount of money for a one day event? It’s like waiting in line for a ride at Disney World. Kind of worth it, but SUCH A PAIN leading up to it.
I have to clarify – none of my close friends are engaged. And I’m not either. But I’ve seen engagements happen. And I know the friend-gagements are coming my way soon. And it freaks me out. It’s the holidays. It’s basically Hurricane Season for wedding proposals. Storm Engagement: coming to a social media site near you.
In the meantime, let’s all take a note from Red Vest and remember that while you’re thrilled to be engaged, no one wants to celebrate the fact that your finger now costs more than their savings account.
But we will pretend. Because that’s what females do. Sorry we’re not sorry.