It is the year 2017 and people, women in particular, are still on the receiving end of (the awfully coined phrase) slut-shaming. It’s like the sexual revolution never happened.
Sex is fun, sex is healthy, and you should have as much of it as you can possibly get without the scrutiny and judgment of society. If you ask me, the walk of shame needs a serious makeover and rebranding, and it should instead be called morning glory. Sure, a life of one-night stands can become taxing, stale, desperate even, since most people in the world ultimately want to end up with one person to wake up next to (and make love to) for the rest of their lives.
However, in the spirit of the absolute absence of judgment and absolute presence of ‘you go girl!’(or guy), you can have as many one-night stands as you want in your lifetime and it is nobody’s business but your own. Still, in my own experience, I have come to realize that your twenties are truly the time to go wild, whether it is during college, or in the Girls post-college-finding-yourself era. It is the time to, as Samantha from SACT would say, ‘try anything once’ and live by the I REGRET NOTHING mantra.
So yes, you should have a one night stand at least once in your life, and your twenties are perfect for that first ‘ride on the rodeo’ for many reasons. Here are 4 reasons why.
Despite what some prudes out there will tell you, having a one night stand is simply fun! You can go to a bar, dance it out, make some serious eye contact, have some flirty innuendo time on the dance floor and if you feel the attraction, the chemistry, just go with it. Of course, always be safe and protected, that is one night stand 101. While ‘in love and committed relationship’ sex can be more meaningful for some, there is nothing more fun than taking home (or going to the home) of a relative stranger, spend a night of passion and move on with your day carrying the afterglow of satisfaction.
It’s new and exciting.
There are few things in life that are as adrenaline-filled and exciting as the unknown, and that includes new sexual partners. The game, the hunt, the chase – in other words the anticipation of what the night may bring, carries a dose of satisfaction on its own. It makes you feel brave and adventurous. Even if the sex itself turns out to be not that great, you will always have the feeling of victory in your conquest. On the other hand, it can be great, mind-blowing even, and because this is a person you barely know, you do not have to worry about inhibitions. Kick them to the curb, and you might even pick up some new moves, learn that you have moves you didn’t even realize you had, or even learn a thing or two from your one-time lover.
When no strings are attached, it’s easy.
If you have recently experienced heartbreak, or you are simply not on the market for anything serious, Mr. Right Now is the perfect antidote to all your issues and cravings. There are no strings attached, you do not have to call the next morning or make any kind of effort. The fact that it is purely physical takes the pressure off you, since you don’t have to think about the rules on how to attract men and make them see you as ‘serious girlfriend material’. There will come a time when you will want that, but for now, you are simply looking for Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right.
The sense of power is intoxicating.
As I said, despite the restrains patriarchy is still trying to impose on us, taking someone home with no strings attached is a conscious choice you make and you should be completely and utterly unapologetic about it. Your conquest is your victory, not that you need the validation through sex. It is simply your choice and because you are the one making it, it is a source of incredible power. You wanted something, you went for it, and it is your little victory of the day.
The only thing left to do now is doll up, go hunting, try it, see if it works for you. If yes, you can keep doing it as much as your ‘heart’ desires, and if not, well, it can always become a fun sexy anecdote to tell your friends. Remember, mistakes make for the best stories.
I’m asexual. I never had any interest in casual dating or one-night-stands. That being said, I believe if someone wants to have an active and healthy sex life, they should totally go for it and have that experience.
But I don’t think it’s right to make people think they SHOULD be doing this kind of thing if it’s just not for them.