Author: Samantha Matt

As a kid I cared about very few things. I cared about what teacher I was assigned to for the next year. I cared about getting to dance class on time. And I cared about going to Toys R Us on a weekly basis to purchase toys. From stuffed animals to board games to dolls… I had to have it all. And even though I wasn’t big on playing with dolls, I still made my parents buy them for me (I mean, like, everyone else had them) and occasionally played with (slash did horrible things to) them.

Barbie was like my BFF. I remember strolling down the Barbie isle like it was yesterday. It was pink, long, and full of secrets awesomeness. Barbies’ outfits were, like, so cool. And if you can’t remember how Barbie and her friends dressed back then, just picture the cast of Clueless. But seriously…

All the overalls...

I had so many Barbies, you might have mistook my room for Toys R Us. I had doll houses on doll houses on doll houses. And boxes full of skinny, big boobed, blonde bombshells – all in different outfits. There was teacher Barbie (she came with a desk). Rock Star Barbie. Hawaiian Barbie. Basically every kind of Barbie you can think of. And there wasn’t just Barbie. There were her siblings… her boyfriend… and her friends!

First, we had Ken (her super hot BF). Then we had her sister, Skipper. And then we obv had her BFFs (I forget their names – I just remember one was black). Eventually we also had Kelly, who I think was supposed to be Barbie’s little sister. I was obsessed with Kelly. Obsessed to the point where I decided she NEEDED a boyfriend, so I cut the hair off of other Kelly dolls so she could have male friends her size. Weird, I know.

I was also obsessed with My Little Pony. Except this obsession took place far too long ago for me to remember it. All I know is I used to watch the show and collect the ponies. And when Summer Roberts from The OC had a My Little Pony that she called Princess Sparkle, I of course broke out an old MLP and brought it to college. It was totally normal.

What is left of my collection...

Polly Pocket was another fad. Except she was so effing small that she always got lost… or maybe that was because I am was irresponsible. But honestly, she lived in a center for ants. Not my fault.

Baby All Gone had to be spoon fed. WTF. I can’t believe I sat there feeding a doll. There was a big difference between this doll and Barbie, who didn’t eat anything. Ever. This is probably why we were so confused as children. To eat or not to eat? That is the question.

Finally, American Girl Dolls. These betches deserve their own post, but since they are not getting one I will let you know that American Girl Dolls were – and still are – super awesome (they even have their own store now). I had Samantha (duh – my name is Samantha) and actually believed she looked liked me. I also had another, but I forget which one (sorry to whoever bought it for me). Samantha is now extinct (how can you just get rid of a doll???)… so I think she is worth, like, a lot of money but no one will let me sell her. I used to buy outfits for my dolls everywhere… and also wrote books (and television shows) about them (yes – remember the write-your-own ‘meet ___’ books? You could make up your own characters and stories. This is where my love for writing began. I even wrote some stories in television SCRIPT form. Who knew?)

This sounds like a horrible pornographic film... But I do remember reading this.

Oh, and who can forget BABY? I had Baby. I used to paint baby’s nails… and then put ‘makeup’ on it with nail polish. Baby is still creepin’ around my house… but it only has one eye. I have no idea what happened to the other eye… but I have 3 younger brothers, so that could explain something.

What dolls did you play with make your parents buy for you when you were younger? Tell us in the comments or tweet us at @forever20tweets!


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


  1. I had an American Girl too- her name was Molly and she looked like me :). I think she might be retired now too but I really don’t know. I miss the historical ones, now all the kids get the ones that look like them and are the “Girls of Today”. But If I ever go to a town that has the store I want to visit it just so I can reminisce about my childhood!

    I had a ton of Barbies too. And she had a crapload of sisters… Skipper… Stacey… and Kelly, the little baby. I always wondered because I figured Barbie was like a 20something and I’m like that mom must be pretty old to be having a baby when Barbie was the age to have a baby. Not like she could with those dimensions, haha!

  2. Magic Nursery Dolls were my favorite! I also had Kirsten, an American Girl Doll, who I also thought looked like me. We also shared the same birthday (her’s was just about 120 years before mine) and she was in-between two brothers, like me. And I think I even went through a phase where I called my dad “PaPa” like the Swedish-Kirsten called her father. WOW. Anyways, I still have all of my My Little Ponies, Polly Pockets, Barbies, Kirsten, etc. and now my little girls drag them out at my parents’ house and play with them. And the Polly Pockets have made their way back to my house now, where we promptly lost several of the dolls. There’s a good chance my son ate them.

    • I never had Magic Nursery Dolls. But that is hilarious about Kirsten! When searching for picture of Polly Pocket, I saw the new version and she is definitely not as small. They really set us up to eat/lose Polly and her friends haha!

  3. Playground Kids! Did anyone else have those or was I the only one? I feel like the only one! I had American Girl dolls, Barbies, Polly Pockets, etc. but Playground Kids ROCKED (lol)! =D

  4. omg. I had that exact Barbie in the blue overalls and all I wanted was her outfit in human form, which I’m sure existed at Limited Too but my parents were too cheap to buy me their clothes 😐

    • Monica Logam Reply

      They did and I had one Limited Too was expensive but they did have good sales and that was the only time my mom took me to limited too when it was a clearance or a sale lol…But I always shopped at Sears and JC Penny’s and at time the Jones Store (Before Macy’s) for my Easter dress

  5. Monica Logam Reply

    I had the American Girl book series. And I had the doll too. Mines was Addy since I was African American

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