So, you’ve gone on a few dates, you’ve been off and on for months, you sleep over, but you keep waiting for him to define the relationship. Truth is, he probably won’t. Even after all your conversations about where this is going, all you get in return is “don’t pressure me,” “I don’t know,” and the best, “we’re taking it slow.”

Coming to this realization takes a while, unless you have fabulously honest friends. Here are some ways to get over him:

1. Try something new.

Take a boxing class, volunteer, sing karaoke, buy a vibrator – do something!


2. Don’t rely heavily on advice from others.

This part is hard. You can try talking to your friends about it, but they’ve been hearing this for months and they’ve been telling you to move on for just as long. Occasionally you’ll get the “I hate him,” or “I told you so,” all things you don’t want to hear. Plus no one gives you sympathy like in a real breakup because “you guys were never dating.” You were dating. It wasn’t defined. Doesn’t mean you cared less than you would have with a title.


3. Hide him from your Facebook timeline.

Hide him from your Facebook timeline. He won’t know and no one wants to see all the great things he’s been up to without you. While you’re at it, unfollow all those other people who make you want to run murderously out into the middle of the street for their political posts.


4. Start a journal.

There’s no better way to realize how many times you’ve made the same mistake than by writing it down daily.


5. Read.

Escape into someone else’s problems or, better yet, read a nonfiction book that will make you realize how insignificant your current situation is in the grand scheme of things – proceed with caution on this one, you could end up wanting to go to graduate school for journalism.


6. Indulge in sulking.

Yes, you can sulk. Take a few days or a few hours to reflect on things. It sucks, but in after a couple seasons of Parks and Recreation you’ll be yearning for your own Ben Wyatt.


7. Focus your energy on something positive.

Spend more time on your work, finding a new job if you hate your current one, become ambitious again! It’s easy to settle when you’re attention is on on someone else. When your mind is focusing  on something else you’ll forget about him.


8. Go out with your single girlfriends.

Try not to get too drunk – we’ve all seen or been in one of those alcohol-induced crying fits. However, having a couple of drinks with good friends will allow you to let loose and start talking to that cute guy sitting a few seats away. Plus if they’re single, they’ll be on the prowl too.


9. Clean your apartment.

Get your life together! Do your laundry, vacuum, put away your Christmas decorations. Living in a clean environment with clear your mind of clutter.

Tip: This can be done after the sulking because you need those excess blankets and pillows lying around for ultimate comfort.CleaningDoubtfireGif


Jordi Tillery is currently working towards her masters degree in Journalism from Boston University. She graduated from Simmons College in 2014 with a degree in Nutrition & Dietetics. When she's not in class, she's out petting other people's animals without permission, experimenting so you don't have to and pushing the boundaries on societal norms. You can find her on twitter @JordiJT

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