If you missed last night’s episode of Girls you missed a lot. Like a lot a lot. And I don’t just mean Jessa having a surprise wedding with the dude she almost had a threesome with last episode… I mean Hannah wore makeup. She actually wore makeup… and she actually looked decent. Like semi-normal. She had on a cute dress. Cute heels. She’s trying… but it didn’t work.
At the beginning of the episode, Adam and Hannah are helping Marnie move out of the apartment. It may seem as though H & M are finally getting along after their huge blow out last episode, but they’re not. They’re cordial… but certainly not back on the ‘friend level’ yet. Marnie isn’t even moving into a new apartment yet. She is so annoyed with Hannah that she rented a U-Haul to temporarily move in to the queen-of-annoying’s apartment (Shoshana) because Jessa has been MIA lately. Weird.
Hannah is upset that her friendship with Marnie is on the rocks. She has Adam though… and he’s even willing to move in with her! Haven’t they been dating for like 2 months? Once again, weird.
The whole crew reunites at the ‘mystery party’ that Jessa forced everyone to go to – all dressed up. Meaning shirts, ties, dresses, even make-up! Shoshana and Marnie head there together and hang outside before entering. Of course, Charlie and Ray walk by – Charlie sans GF… and Marnie full of crimped hair (wtf, this is not the 90s) and not a care in the world that he just walked by. With just one glance at Charlie’s face you can tell he still wants on Marnie. Hannah then approaches the girls looking like a total moron talking about her ‘almost matching’ outfit… Of course she’s talking about herself.
Eventually, people see Jessa walk by in a white gown. And although it looks like the wedding dress Sooki was forced to wear in True Blood a few seasons ago, people can tell it’s a wedding gown. The ‘mystery party’ had just turned into a ‘surprise wedding.’ Nice plot twist.
SNL’s Bobby Moynihan appears as the guy marrying the two love birds… who just met… two weeks ago. As everyone stands watching the ceremony in awe, Shoshana has a panic attack that she is wearing white at someone else’s wedding and Charlie creeps on Marnie from behind. It’s super awk.
At the ‘reception,’ Hannah finds a new roommate – her gay ex bf, Elijah. He is so down to be Hannah’s new roommate… probably because she’s actually wearing makeup today. Or maybe he’s just lovestruck by his new bf who is ‘rich as f*ck.’ Probably a bit of both. Across the roof-deck, Marnie and Charlie are talking about having sex on a sink in the bathroom… While Marnie was being 50% serious about it, Charlie was being 100% dead serious. As in he took her hand to walk her to the bathroom. What an ass. I mean, I know he was the one who was broken up with. But he has a crazy world traveling GF now. And Marnie clearly doesn’t want him. Give it up, Charles.
At one point, Hannah is found lying on the bathroom floor. Is she serious? Is her life really that bad? You’re at someone else’s wedding… Can you think about/be happy for someone else for once in your life? Or, like, question your friend’s poor life decision. She’s like in her early twenties… and she’s getting married to a guy she met two weeks ago… who makes mash-ups for a living… and tried to have a threesome with her. WHY IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH THIS WEDDING?
After Hannah’s bathroom floor session, she has a fight with Adam because he actually did want to move in with her. He also says ‘I love you’ to Hannah, which makes her laugh. ‘How can anyone love me? I’m 13 pounds overweight, I wear no makeup, and I’m poor!’ Hmm, I wonder.
Adam and Hannah then have a giant blowout fight as she chases him out of the party on to the street. They exchange a few harsh words in a very Mean-Girls-like fashion… As in Adam tells Hannah she’s a bitch that no one likes in the middle of the street and then he gets hit by a car. Literally. I never thought I would be comparing Adam of Girls to Regina George but here I am. Adam is then taken away in an ambulance that he doesn’t let Hannah in because she is a ‘f*cking monster.’ So now Hannah is Lindsay Lohan. NBD.
As the series comes to a close, Marnie makes out with Bobby Moynihan with wedding cake on her breasts as Charlie watches from afar…
…and Hannah falls asleep on the subway and wakes up in the middle of nowhere. She then walks to the beach and sits on the sand at what seems like 6am.
It started weird. It ended weird. But most importantly, it was awesome throughout the entire season. I can’t wait for next season to see Jessa’s marriage collapse, Marnie’s living situation which will most likely be with the ever-so-annoying Shoshana who is no longer a virgin (thanks Ray), and Hannah’s living sitch with her gay ex bf … and her relationship sitch with Adam who hates to love her.
If you missed this season, no worries. Watch on demand, online on HBO Go, or wait for season one to come out on DVD. You won’t be disappointed. I promise!
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