What I Really Hear When You Tell Me I Look Tired (And What I’d Rather You Say Instead)

You look tired.

There may be people out there who find comfort in hearing this phrase from another human. When they hear it, maybe they think, “You know what? I am tired. Thank you for noticing. Wow, there are empathetic people in this world!”

I am not one of those people. I’m on the other side – I’m the type who gets weirdly offended when I’m told this.

And to be fair to you, if you’re talking to me at any point in the day while I’m awake then chances are, I actually am very tired. But I don’t want to look like it! I’ve actually invested a lot of money into looking completely different than how I feel (I’m laughing at how much that sentence sounds like a cry for help).

But what I mean is, yes. I am very tired. Most people don’t have the type of schedule where a full night’s sleep is doable every single night. That’s why I own concealer.

Plus I’ve never understood the point in telling another person they look tired. The risk just seems to really outweigh the benefit.

Best case scenario, you accurately called out a person for not getting enough sleep. Congrats.

In every other scenario, a person was just enjoying their day and you just told them they look like garbage.

So anyway, here’s a list of things I feel are synonymous with “you look tired:”

• You aren’t wearing makeup today.
• You have dark circles under your eyes.
• I feel like you have something stressful happening in your life… it’s making you look awful.
• I’m just now realizing how short your eyelashes are.
• You have quite an unhealthy glow today.
• You look bad and I thought you should know.

Here are some things I would honestly rather you tell me:

• I heard that your boyfriend doesn’t like you.
• That dress makes you look chubby and pale.
•  Your house is on fire.
• Your whole family has been kidnapped in an elaborate suburban heist.

Okay..maybe I’m getting a little dramatic here but the point still remains: I don’t need to be told I look tired.

I am never ever going to respond with “Oh wow…thank you!”.

I’ll probably just go cry because your unnecessary comment just convinced me I look like this:

I hope you’re happy.