Here’s What Happened When I Did A 3-Day Juice Cleanse

I recently did a 3 day juice cleanse, something I’ve always wanted to try. I eat pretty healthy and exercise a few times a week. I’ve decided to keep notes throughout this journey of hate so that I could share it with all of you…

Day 1

Morning
First sip – “oh this isn’t too bad”
13 sips later – “seriously do I have to choke down this entire bottle of white chalky shit?”

Mid-morning
Hungry. Fantasies about all fast food restaurants have started. Mmmmmmm burger and fries.

Lunch
If vegetables had explosive diarrhea this is what I imagine it would taste like.

Dinner
Plugging my nose to chug juice. Staring down at my dogs food wishing I could eat it.

Day 2

Yesterday I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open all day. I fell asleep and stayed asleep the entire night. Woke up refreshed and ready for the day. This is the only positive I have seen from this juicing so far.

Morning
First juice is still just okay. Going to take my time to drink it.

Lunch
Hoping that the refreshed feeling from the morning comes back…I highly doubt it will.

Dinner
Seriously considering eating solids for a meal. SO HANGRY! I have no desire to drink my last two juices tonight. I’ve had a headache for the last couple of hours which just adds to my tiredness.

After dinner
(Unfortunately during my time of juicing I was staying at my parents house, who are not juicing. I don’t recommend being around people who eat a lot of delicious food while juicing.)

They are eating pizza. I am sitting like a loser in the other room because I want pizza. Juicing makes you antisocial.

Late night
There is a lot of gurgling going on in my belly. I don’t think this is a good sign for tomorrow.

First sip of the last juice of the day (the worst one by far) – GAG

My thoughts “oh no, I hope I don’t puke on my mom’s carpet, she will kill me if I get this green shit on it”

I wonder if the juice Gods will know I dumped this out?

The imagination runs wild when you think of all the things you would rather do than drink the rest of this disgusting green concoction in front of you.

Day 3

Morning
Slept well again. Did not wake up in the night, which is great because I tend to have a lot of nights where I toss and turn. Again this is the only positive I’ve seen so far.

Lunch
Three juices down. The first two weren’t so bad, struggled on the third. Really looking forward to eating solids tomorrow. Feeling rather tired and sluggish. May break down and eat a few hard boiled eggs for dinner.

4pm
I caved and ate 3 hard boiled eggs. They were by far the best thing I’ve eaten in days. I feel better already.

Dinner
I drank the red beet juice. More like I gagged it down, holding my nose, not breathing, gagged it down.

After the beet juice I decided that I could not drink the last one. I ate a solid food dinner of fresh fish and a sweet potato.

Conclusions
Shout out to people who do these multiple times a year! You are a stronger human being than I am. I hated every second of it. I ate a breakfast that I shouldn’t have had on Sunday and then had lunch at Whole Foods. Let me just say that the day after you finish a juice cleanse is the worst day, at least it was for me. I barely made it home before releasing my body’s hatred for me. I also weighed myself on Sunday and I lost maybe a pound. The only good thing I got from it is that I haven’t been feeling as hungry so I am eating less now, but I highly doubt that will last long, because cupcakes.