Hi, my name is Sam, and I think 30 is too old to go on “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” if you’re looking for a serious long-lasting relationship. But before you try to Google my current location so you can find me and kick my ass, hear me out on why.

It’s not that I think you should have already found someone by 30. I don’t think that at all. 30 is still young, and you can find love at any time. You don’t even need to find love if you don’t want to. It’s that I think you should at least be starting to get your shit together by 30, and that does not include going on this famed reality television show to find a husband or wife. HOWEVER, if you’re looking to ride the fame train to get that Instagram sponsored campaign money with the chance of maybe finding love along the way, then by all means—hit up this show. But if you’re only going on this show to get engaged within a few weeks, get married, have kids, and be with this person for-ev-er, then turn the fuck around and go home. Really.

See this whole “Bachelor/Bachelorette” lifestyle kind of delays the real world. Okay, no, it literally delays the real world. You take time away from your every day life, including YOUR JOB, to compete for love on TV. “Love” that, if you do actually win, has a small chance of actually lasting. And if you’re wondering why it doesn’t usually last? Well, you’re expected to get engaged to someone after knowing them a few weeks. Without living together or knowing what the other person is like in the real world. Like, are they always on their phone? How often do they want to have sex? Are they always busy? Do they let dishes pile up in the sink? You don’t know that. But if you win, you have to get engaged and then it becomes extremely hard to just break up as normal people would in real life, because you just “found love” in front of the whole world. I mean, you think it’s hard to break up because of what your friends on social media will think? Consider how hard it becomes with the whole world watching. You’ve gotta at least try to make your relationship work, right?

In your 20s, fine. You’re still a shit show. You’re still having fun. You’re not “in a rush” to find love. You’re just doing you. And if you’re hot enough to go on reality television to potentially date a fellow hot human and travel the world and drink free wine for a few weeks while doing you, fucking do it. But as you get older, things change. Priorities change. People grow up.

Do you really want to bet on a guy who is willing to consider dating girls in their early 20s? Do you really want to bet on a guy who you don’t get to date in the real world before deciding to be in a relationship with him (or her)? Do you really want to bet on someone who *might* be more concerned with building their social media following than finding a soulmate? Probably not, right? Wouldn’t it make more sense to date online? Meet people in your own community, who live somewhat near you? If you’re seriously trying to find someone to settle down with, wouldn’t it make more sense to date around and see multiple people at the same time before choosing one? As in take time to figure out who is right for you instead of trying to go after one thing you’re not sure about?

“The Bachelor” franchise is like transporting yourself back to middle school, where a bunch of people fight over the person everyone was made to believe is the hottest in the room. As an adult, you shouldn’t have to fight other people to get to someone you think you want. After all, there’s no “thinking” you want something in adulthood—there’s only knowing. And there’s no going after things either. If someone doesn’t feel the same way about you or something doesn’t feel right, then fuck it. NEXT. The chase is over.

If this franchise didn’t become what it is now, maybe things would be different. If the contestants were all in the same age bracket, maybe. If the contestants were hand-selected by Patti the matchmaker based on what each person is looking for in a partner, maybe. If the contestants were filled with people who had real jobs instead of Instagram models and wannabe Instagram models, maybe. But this is what it is.

In your 30s, you shouldn’t be competing for love. You should be done with that bullshit. You should be doing you. Whether or not you’re ready or want to to settle down or have kids, you don’t need a reality TV show to do so. Sure, you could meet your soulmate on ‘The Bachelor.’ Some couples from the franchise are still going strong. Some even have kids! But, most of the couples broke up… meaning if you win, there’s a big chance you could waste a few years of your life because you rushed into something with a guy who went on reality TV to date a bunch of young, hot wannabe Instagram models and it didn’t end up working out. Surprise.

So, like I said, if you’re in your 30s, and you’re super hot, and you’re not set on getting married and having kids any time soon, it’s not too late to go on ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette.’ But it IS too late if you’re doing it with the hopes of actually developing an adult relationship. If marriage is something you really want, try to find a partner like an adult. Don’t delay your life. Don’t play [literal] games. Date like an adult because, uh, you are one.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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