What better way to glorify the socially acceptable love affair I have with the CBS series, How I Met Your Mother than to make it my personal weekly duty to report on the latest findings from each episode. Rather than spend time scrambling for quarters for laundry or attacking the dust bunnies (probably monsters at this point) under my bed, I think that allocating time for writing and HIMYM is the perfect kind of weekly task for a nerd like me. I’m sure my fellow HIMYM lovers will agree that this is the chore that just keeps on giving.

The first new episode of 2013 aired last night, and much like the rest of the world, I was beyond ready for it. As we all know, all of the characters except Ted left 2012 on a positive, lovey dovey note. Marshall and Lily rang in the New Year with their adorable baby boy, Barney successfully executed the last of his many playbook schemes, “The Robin,” the two FINALLY confronted their feelings for each other, and the show ended with them smooching under mistletoe and snowfall as a newly engaged couple. After weeks of Patrice drama (YOU SCRATCHED THE LEATHER ON MY BAG PATRICE!!!–you know the voice) and Robin’s foolish attempts at fighting for Barney whilst denying her love for him, their reunion was long overdue. While 90% of my heart was jumping for joy at Barney and Robin’s news, 10% was breaking for Ted. The poor guy can never catch a break! Career-wise, everything fell into place before the year came to a close. He became the youngest architect to build a New York skyscraper, something he’s dreamt about since the show’s first episode. But, of course, we all know what Ted’s first choice will always be: Robin love. So imagine the irony of Ted finding out that the almost love of his life is engaged to his best friend, while standing in his very own skyscraper, alone in a crowded room, at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Like I said, poor guy can’t catch a break!

So at 7:55PM last night, I parked myself directly in front of the television, kept my phone on “Do Not Disturb,” and tuned out the rest of the non-HIMYM world. In a span of approximately 22 minutes, things got hilarious, uncomfortable, and just weird.

Barney & Robin found themselves in an uncomfortable “father meets new son-in-law” pickle when Robin insisted that Barney ask for her father’s blessing to marry her. Various flashbacks throughout the years have portrayed Robin’s father as cold, unemotional, and intimidating. So when the writers incorporated his character into the main plot and he was a big pile of love in the first scene, Robin wasn’t the only one who was surprised. It turned out that his sudden change of heart was fueled by his new romantic relationship. Even still, he despised Barney’s blonde hair (even after he dyed it and looked ridiculous as a brunette) and PETA instincts (he just couldn’t pull the trigger at the bunny). After becoming Facebook friends with him (a decision that her friends strongly advised against for various hysterical and valid reasons), Robin discovers that her father was married and never shared the news with her; naturally, she bans him from coming to her own wedding. Barney, seeing how distraught it made his new fiance, convinced Robin’s father to swallow his pride and apologize for his wrongdoings. Of course, it was poorly structured and emotionless, but it was an apology–and it was the first one from her father. To quote one of her lines at the end of the episode, “Maybe he [Barney] really does love me.” Yes, honey, he really does.

Ted & Lily fought for the title of “Wedding Planner” as preparations for Barney and Robin’s wedding began to take shape. Lily was gunning for a live band as the entertainment for the night, while Ted was dead-set on a DJ. Why did the two of them care so much, you ask? Well, we find out why when both characters reveal two not-so-happy secrets they’ve been keeping from the others. We learn that Lily isn’t 100% happy about being a Mom. She loves Marvin (how could she not?) and feels blessed to have such a beautiful life, but a part of her has gone missing. She was an artist before she became a full-time teacher, wife, and mother; and now, she never has time to pick up a paint brush. She has her little sob fest and moves on quickly, because that’s what Lily does. I doubt she’ll pull a Season 2 Lily and leave Marshall and Marvin behind to travel across the country to be an artist; but hey, you never know! As for Ted, we all had a hunch about what was bothering him because it’s what ALWAYS bothers him–Robin. He’s forever frustrated about the fact that Robin, despite all of his adorable efforts and romantic attempts to convince her otherwise, will never love him in the way that he wants and needs her to. Whenever any of his relationships fail, he always comes back to Robin, wondering if the universe’s reason for ruining his past relationships was to bring him back to her. And now that she is officially off the market, and to his best friend nonetheless, it set him over the edge. Thankfully, Ted loves Robin more than he loves himself, so he smiles past his feelings and wishes her the best. Don’t worry, Ted; you’ll meet “the one” soon enough!

Marshall referenced the awesome Boston accents in The Departed, and then got crapped confettied on. Reason #47 why Marshall will always be my favorite.

The Mother‘s silhouette is revealed–can you believe it?! Sure, it’s only her hands/forearm that we’re able to view clearly; but still, it’s something! The universe works in mysterious ways, especially on HIMYM, so I love where the story line is going with this. Ted bumps into an old flame (the college chick he dated who had a super duper awesome roommate who is eventually dubbed “The Mother” earlier in the series) on the subway about a week before Barney and Robin’s wedding. Apparently, the band that they hired to play at their wedding double booked and they can’t find anyone else to fill in on such short notice. Universe! That super duper awesome roommate just happens to play bass in a band that just happens to be a hit around the NYC-area, and they just happen to be gig-free that weekend. And there you have it–Ted meets “the one” at his ex-love-of-his-life’s wedding to his best friend because he bumped into a former flame on the subway, just like that. I told you–universe!

Be sure to watch How I Met Your Mother every Monday night at 8PM EST on CBS, or you’ll really be confettied out of luck.


20-something creative writer turned corporate, armed with big ideas and even bigger dreams. Avid reader, lover of all things musical, incessant blogger. Sucker for movie quotes, feature writing, and a good book. To inspire and be inspired.

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