If you live in a place that actually has four seasons – one of them being sunless and very cold –you know that for about 5 to 6 months of the year, many people appear ghostly white and unattractive. This is simply because people who are pale are less attractive than those who are tan. Duh.

There are many reasons why this could be the case:

  1. Tans make you appear thinner.
  2. Tans cover up any blemishes you have on your face.
  3. Tans make you glow.
  4. Tans make your teeth look whiter.
  5. SUN and WARMTH make people happy… Therefore, tans make people happy.

So… who wouldn’t be upset when they are pale, unhappy, and have to stand next to darker people in pictures at the bar all Winter long?

Of course there are ways to avoid being pale. Some girls (and guys) go fake tanning. They lie in beds soaking up the unsafe rays. They stand in little booths getting hit by skin cancer (I did this once – and let me tell you – it was the 5 most terrifying minutes of my life). And they get sprayed with color, taking the risk of turning orange and/or having different colored patches of skin.

In addition to risking life for looks, some people use ‘tanning lotion.’ I have used the lotion before and it hasn’t worked. Some people truly believe it does, but I think it’s just an illusion. Maybe it adds a little glow to your skin and maybe it makes your skin a tiny shade ‘darker,’ but it’s not going to make you look like you just came back from Spring Break in Cabo. No, definitely not.

So what’s a girl or a (very flamboyant) male who doesn’t like fake tanning/lotion to do in those brutally cold Winter months? Here are some options: Stay in… Avoid pictures… Wear lots of black… Work out like a crazy person… Plan vacations… Etc.

It doesn’t have to be like that anymore, though. Most girls know that a great bronzer can do the trick in the Winter. It can give your face a little shimmer. And it can make your face look a little darker. However, bronzer rarely gives you that ‘I just lied out for hours’ look, right? Wrong. Never have I ever used a bronzer as great as the one I used (and still am using) this past Winter.

The first bronzer I ever used was Stila’s. I would step into Sephora and purchase the same bronzer every time. It was one solid color and it made my face shimmer and shine. It worked and it made me happy. However, each Winter I still looked ridiculously pale in Facebook pictures and in the mirror. As we all know, during the Winter you think you look alright. Everyone else is pale (except for the bitches who go fake tanning and put you to shame look like a different race in pictures), so you being pale is fine. But when Summer rolls around and you look back on those pictures… it’s not fine. You looked horrible. And you definitely can’t go through another Winter looking like you’re about to puke with a double chin.

That is why I decided to change it up this year. Before New Year’s Eve, I bought one of Too Faced’sdeep bronzing powders.’

Of course, the brand carries a wide variety of bronzers, but the kind I purchased was California in a Compact – Beach Bunny… and let me tell you – it was one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made.

For $29, I had finally found a bronzer that made me look like my Summer tan never completely faded.

Secretly white... Openly wearing a LOT of bronzer.

As said by Sephora’s website, this bronzer “combines four illuminating shades of sun-kissed bronzers and shimmers that add just the right amount of California’s deep summertime tan anywhere, any time of the year!Sounds perfect, right?

I'm definitely in need of a new one.

To use it correctly, don’t put too much on – but don’t put on too little. You don’t want to look fake (even though you totally are), but you want to look DARK. Also, make sure you cover whatever other skin is showing… neck, chest, shoulders, arms. You want to blend in the color so you have an even tan all over.

Too Faced saved my Winter. Do you have any bronzers or ‘tanning tricks’ that have made your winter a little less pale? Thankfully, Summer is on it’s way. We just have boring Spring standing in our way… so in the meantime, head over to Sephora and purchase some of the lucky bronzer to make yourself look like Summer. I promise you won’t be disappointed.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


  1. i’m polish and don’t like going outside. so i’m naturally fair-skinned (the polite and less unflattering way of saying horribly pale) and don’t have the motivation to do anything about it.
    like you, i’ve been on the hunt to find something to make me look tan and popular (those are synonymous, right?). i don’t like using bronzers to get that look, because quite frankly, washing off my tan every night makes me die a little inside. any self-tanner with “instant glow” makes me look like edward cullen with a self-tanner. orange and sparkly. not tan and popular.
    no shimmer. no glow. just tan tan-tacular. you spray it on in short but even strokes. let it dry for about five minutes, and let it darken as the day goes by. by the end of the day, i swear you will look in a mirror and want to seduce yourself.

Write A Comment