When you think of someone stealing Christmas, you probably think of The Grinch or Jane Lynch in last year’s holiday episode of Glee.

However, someone else has decided to steal Christmas this year and his name is Justin Bieber. Many people (mostly preteen girls) love the Biebs. They love his “music.” They love his looks. They love his charm. They love him.

It began the day before Thanksgiving. Justin Bieber was scheduled to put on a concert for NBC’s Today Show and somehow managed to turn Occupy Wall Street into Occupy Bieber. Young girls and their mothers swarmed New York Citys’ streets with tents and sleeping bags hoping that camping out would lead them to be as close as humanly possible to the Biebs. When it was finally time for the 17 year old to perform, he took the stage and high pitched screams (from mothers, daughters, and Justin Bieber himself) were heard all the way in Upstate New York (like real upstate NY… not Westchester). Was the screaming because the girls thought JB was “soo dreamy” and had such an “amazzzing voice?” Or was it because he was wearing an ugly sweater and looked like a young Ellen Degenerous? His performance of covered Christmas classics and new holiday songs not only made me question his talent, but also made me wonder whether or not he is actually a lesbian trapped in a teen boy’s body. Justin Bieber had completely stolen the Christmas spirit from one of my favorite morning news shows.

After his highly anticipated, atrocious performance, I took it upon myself to check out his new holiday CD on iTunes. And let me tell you – it was not good. Now, if it wasn’t for one of the songs on the CD, I probably would have let this blow over and be okay with his new holiday tunes. As a non-religious Jew, I love Christmas music. My second favorite Christmas song (next to Nsync’s “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” of course) is obviously Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” (I’m pretty sure this is, like, every twenty somethings favorite Christmas song). Anyway, the Biebs decided he had the balls AND talent to pull off not only a cover of the holiday classic – BUT to collaborate with Mariah… by inserting a verse by him into the original song after every other chorus. And believe me – You could totally tell the difference between the voice getting help (Justin’s) and the voice not getting help (Mariah’s). Now Justin Bieber had stolen Christmas by song.

A few days later, while in one of my favorite stores, Target, I was browsing the awesome holiday section checking out the decor, bows, ribbons, and wrapping paper. By this time, I had forgotten about the concert and CD. But then I saw it. Justin Bieber’s name and picture was everywhere. The wrapping paper section was practically a shrine to Bieber. Like, are you kidding? I mean – You might say “You can’t complain. You would totally have wanted Nsync, BSB, Spice Girls, ETC wrapping paper.” And you’re right. But guess what? Those bands are full of classic talent and the male teenage “artists” did not look like woman. Anyway, the Biebs had now stolen the holiday show at one of my favorite stores, Target.

Red & Green for Christmas... and Blue & White for Hannukah.

And that is how Justin Bieber stole Christmas… so far. Who/what will he manage to steal the show from next? Santa? Oh, and FYI Bieber: Stick to collaborating with rappers. That is where your talents lie.

...and you should probably consider doing something about your girly look.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


  1. Is he wearing eyeliner and lipstick on that magazine cover? The Today show performance really does make him look like a lesbian. My fever just went a couple degrees lower.


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  4. Um, where do I start? Justin Bieber…everywhere….EVERYWHERE. Can we escape the “beiber fever”? I’m 15 and I can so that i DEFINIITELY got off that boat..not all of us are crazed fans (did you know ‘fan’ is short for ‘fanatics’ which basically means your CRAZY?) of the beiber kid. *And is the guy wearing makeup in the last picture? I’ll leave that alone…no thank you.

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