How To Avoid Feeling Old

DO NOT…

• Look at pictures of the current members of your college  sports team, club, sorority, frat, etc on Facebook… or anywhere for that matter. You will know less and less people each year and eventually you won’t know anyone on the team/in the club at all… and they will look extremely young… and you will get extremely upset.

• Put your age into the treadmill/elliptical/whatever machine you use at the gym. Seeing that number and admitting to being that age will make you question what you’ve done with your life so far for the entirety of your workout.

• Wikipedia your favorite childhood bands and artists. If you do, you will see their ages, current pictures, and the years they were famous. You will then count on your fingers how long ago that was and be like ‘WTF, I’m old.’ It’s not worth it.

• Follow college students on Twitter. Do not befriend college students on Facebook. And do not follow college students on Instagram. You will see pictures of young people decked in neon drinking from funnels outside while you are stuck inside in your cubicle at work. When did you get so lame?

• Watch your old favorite shows that are now airing on late night television. Remember when we used to watch Nick at Nite? We were memorized by our parent’s (and grandparent’s) childhood (and adulthood) favorite shows. Now, we’re the old people who watched the shows on Nick at Nite  (Fresh Prince, Keenan and Kel, All That). And watching them now will only make you feel old.

DO…

• Go out during the week. You don’t have to go out during the week every week… With your busy work schedule, you probably won’t even be able to. But at least aim to have dinner and drinks on a random Wednesday and maybe get a little weird on a Thursday. We’re not too old to handle being hungover at work (unless you have an important meeting the next day or something), so take advantage.

• Go out during the weekend. The more you stay in, the older you will feel. Of course there will be that fateful Saturday night every couple weeks where you are f*cking exhausted, out of cash, and NEED a date night with your couch, but other than that – no excuses. Embrace your youth while you still can. Constantly drinking and being around friends will make you feel like you are still in college. And in return will make you feel young.

• Eat frozen meals. No not every night. Those things are not very good for you… But at least once in a while. You should be so busy that you don’t have time to cook meals every night. You don’t have kids. You don’t have to take care of anyone. For now, you only have to worry about yourself. So take advantage of your free time by working late and going out after with no break in between. Soon enough, you will laugh at the thought of doing that.

• Listen to older co-workers talk about their personal lives. She lives in a house? He’s getting married? She has kids?!? You will feel younger than ever in the workplace as a twentysomething (unless you work at some trendy startup – most likely in Cambridge MA or San Fran), as the only people younger than you are interns. People will be intrigued by your weekend antics and roll their eyes when you speak of your age. They will hopefully follow up with a ‘I wish I could be your age again‘ and you will smile and feel like a baby (this is good and bad, but for the purpose of this article – it’s good).

• Live in an area where you will be surrounded by people your age. If you live in an area near families (for ex: the suburbs), you will subconsciously start to act older than you really are (unless of course, you’re still living with your parents – this is an even better way to feel young). When you move out, live near ‘young professionals.’ Sure you can live near college students too, just don’t live in a building with them. Hearing them party on a work night will make you angry, and realizing you are angry at people raging will make you feel old.