1. Wear something flattering and sexy. No guy is going to care if you’re wearing Spring’s hottest colors or rocking a designer dress… Wear something that you not only look HOT in, but that you feel comfortable in. Those are 2 key ingredients.

2. Go out with girls. If you are with any guys, no other guy is going to come up to you. I mean, why would they?

3. Smile. If you look miserable, no one will approach you because well, you look miserable. Also, look like you’re having fun.  If you look happy and act like you know you look good, others will feel the same. Confidence is contagious. Lastly, don’t look closed off. You want people to approach you… and a smile and a good laugh will seriously do the trick.

4. Make eye contact with guys you think are cute. Guys get nervous too sometimes believe it or not. They don’t want to be rejected – that would ruin their night. But if a girl flashes ‘the look’ from across the bar, they know they are destined for greatness. Sure, there IS a chance a guy will come up to you with no prior eye contact, but it helps.

5. When a guy tries to talk to you, respond. It’s awkward enough for him to talk to you. And if you make it any more awkward by 1. being awkward or 2. nodding and looking at your friends rather than engaging in conversation, he will be gone in a matter of seconds… Bathroom break? Going to get a drink? Yeah. Oh, and he won’t ‘be right back.’

6. Laugh at what he says. Even if it’s not funny. That will make you relaxed, him relaxed, and therefore your conversation relaxed (it’s all about getting him to buy you that free drink, right??).

7. If he wants to buy you a drink, say yes (even if you don’t want one – but who wouldn’t?). If you say no, that’s basically turning him down. This way the least you’ll get out of the awkward drunk bar chat is a free drink.

8. Keep eye contact with him. Socialize with others as the night goes on to show you’re not a stage 5 clinger… but don’t go to the bathroom and ‘get lost’ … unless he’s ugly, weird, or unattractive… or if you’re in a relationship.

9. Give him your number. Don’t get his. You’re not going to call him (right???). If he wants to talk to you again, he’ll call.

10. Don’t go home with him, unless all you are looking for is a one night stand. If you actually want to date someone – casually or more than that… maybe, eventually, one day (who knows) – don’t go home with him. In fact, after he gets your number, walk away and do it all again with someone else. Keep your options open!


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


  1. Interesting post. I have to ask, what are your thoughts on women making the move to initiate a conversation with a guy in whom they’ve taken an interest?

    For the most part, I agree with a lot of what you said, especially about confidence. Personally, I think if a guy isn’t funny, laughing at his jokes is only doing a disservice to all the women after you that he will pursue.

    I’m just sayin’! Great post, though. Can’t wait to read the next one.

    • I am all for women initiating conversation! I think after they initiate it, it’s kind of up to the guy to pursue, buy drinks, keep conversation going, etc. Glad you liked the post! 🙂

  2. Doesn’t picking up a guy imply that you want to take them home that night? Then, all you need to do is proposition anyone you want and most likely you will succeed in an hour.

    If you want a boyfriend , it’s fine advice, but you may want to to move to another bar if you want to troll for multiple numbers. A guy is gonna be put off if he sees you giving your number out to more guys after him.

    Watch out for this keeping options open. I have many lady friends in their mid 30s and 40s who followed that advice and own many cats!

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