• He enjoys being the little spoon… In fact, he never wants to be the big spoon – he always wants YOU to be the big spoon.
  • Instead of going out on Friday nights, he wants to stay in, eat Fro Yo (not ice cream – too many cals), and watch Broadway musicals with you in bed (while being the little spoon).
  • He won’t have sex with you. Even when you ask (or beg) him to. (No guy has that much will power)
  • He is a member of Rue La La, Haute Look, and/or Ideeli.
  • He wears dark, designer jeans. And ONLY dark, designer jeans.
  • He counts calories. And he isn’t on weight watchers.
  • He has more clothes than you. And shoes (nice shoes – not nike bball sneaks).
  • He doesn’t mind shopping with you… In fact, he loves it. And he will pick out your purchases for you.
  • He is constantly shitting on your gay friends – and all gay people in general. (You know what they say – homophobes are usually hiding something!)
  • He secretly or openly loves divas and has a playlist dedicated to Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, and Whitney Houston on his iPod

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


  1. just listen to katy perry “you’re so gay” and immediately you will know

  2. Pingback: Happy Birthday To Us: How To Grow Your Blog In A Year « Forever Twenty Somethings

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