Author: Samantha Matt
One would think we have enough competition and fights in our lives to be completely calm and relaxed with the person we love... but apparently we don’t. Couples love (and need) to fight. It’s a fact. In a fight-less relationship, after a while, one or both people will get bored/lose interest and the pair will split. So although fights may suck while they are going on, they can really be a good thing. Really. Fights may bring us apart for a few minutes (or days) here and there – but in the long run, if they don’t break us up, they make us stronger. Oh, and they keep things interesting.
In my opinion, fighting is totally and completely normal. Whether you’re fighting over the remote or fighting over a sexual text message your bf received from some rando girl (or you’re fighting over what the hell you’re even fighting about)… it’s all the same. And it most often ends the same way every time… with sex.
But there is one thing we love even more than fighting… Winning (duh). So today I’m going to tell you (20-something girls) 5 different ways to to win a fight with your boyfriend. Enjoy!
1. Use reverse psychology. If you are fighting over what to watch on TV, let him watch whatever he wants by saying ‘fine,’ throwing the remote at him, and then turning away or leaving the room. He will eventually feel bad and say ‘no, no we can watch whatever you want to watch.’ Works every time (almost).
2. Turn all fights that are about YOU screwing up on him. For instance, if you are fighting over the fact that YOU lied to him, describe in detail all the times he lied to you. You’ll have him begging for your forgiveness with no memory of you ever lying to him by the end of the fight. Success.
3. Make him feel guilty. If you want him to come out with you on a work night, but he won’t budge, make him feel like not going with you will be the biggest mistake of his life. ‘Fine. If you don’t come with me, I’ll have an awful night missing you the whole time.’ Or… ‘Everyone else’s boyfriends are going…’ You know, sob stories like that (even though we all know you will really have an AMAZING night flirting with every male who comes your way if you go stag… but he doesn’t need to know that).
4. Tell him you’re ‘done.’ The fear of break up will have him forgetting why you are even fighting in the first place (if there was ever a reason to begin with). This will work unless he has been waiting for you to break up with him so he wouldn’t have to be the one to do it… so if your relationship is on the rocks, I don’t recommend this tactic.
5. Cry. This one has a 95% success rate. The other 5% is usually when he is breaking up with you… or when he is realizing that he should break up with you because, like, why are you crying? You’re fighting over a box of chocolates… ‘You ate the caramel filled ones again, didn’t you? You know I love those! How could you?’ If crying doesn’t work, you probably shouldn’t be with this person anyway.
11 Comments
Fighting is normal to you simply because you identify with the ego.
You are teaching girls how to win arguments… you are teaching girls how to become manipulative. This is some of the worst advice I have ever heard. After a week or so of your so called “advice” every dude who has a backbone would tell the girl to take a hike. Please do not post advice until you are 30 something and have a clue about relationships.
If you had a sense of humor, maybe you would understand that this is a piece for women to laugh at, making fun of the way we sometimes treat men in relationships. If you do not enjoy and understand our content, please do not read it.
Well said Samantha! Well said.
Ha Ha I am aware it is satire, hence my typical male response (also satirical). Maybe if YOU had a sense of humor and weren’t so worried that everyone find you hysterical and love your writing you would understand… Let’s not be so defensive.
I just tried to like your comment. Love all the articles, especially this one:)
Wooow, shes not teaching them to be manipulative, its teaching them how to stay in a relationship succesfully and not be walked all over like a damn rug. If girls dont honestly taker this advice into consideration like 95% of the time the relationship will end up with the girl sitting on the couch crying and the guy screaming in her face with the remote in one hand, saying ” Goddamnit susan, you forgot to turn the tv off again !!!! how stupic can you be?!”
Love your writing, Sam. Don’t change it for a second
There are many readers who understand and appreciate this type of humor. As a contributor and fellow TWENTYSOMETHING, not thirtysomething, I appreciate all the articles I read (and write) here. Keep up the good work Sam!
If you aren’t interested in our content, find another blog that you can relate to. In the meantime, don’t build yourself up by tearing down someone’s work. We’ll continue to keep writing (and encourage humor) with or without your rude commentary.
Sam, I loved it. Don’t worry about the crazies!
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