Break-ups happen. You will go through a few of them by the time you’re a twenty-something. And since the average male has 9 sexual partners in his lifetime, it’s inevitable that your paths will cross with girls who closely relate to a few of the different types below. As for you girls, take a look below to see which type you fit the best (hint: it’s not #5).
1. The Rich Girl: This is your ‘trust-fund-baby’ who can buy anything she wants. She usually gets her hair cut once a month, while her manicures and pedicures are completed on a more frequent, weekly basis. She doesn’t mind paying for dinner and having you drive her German luxury car everywhere. She’s your ideal ‘sugar mamma’ and you could instantly see yourself settling for this lifestyle. However, in more cases than not, she lacks the motivation to obtain a real job and daily conversations are dull and usually involve references to GIRLS and Real Housewives. She struggles when her parents forget to transfer money into her bank account before a night on the town and when the fancy restaurant you took her to carries Schweppes and not Perrier. Proceed with caution.
2. The Smart Girl: This girl could out-debate you on any topic that is not related to sports. She’s a straight-A student that went to private and top-tier schools her whole life and has aspirations of becoming a lawyer or doctor. A walking encyclopedia who is smarter than your whole group of buddies put together. Daily conversations will range from the most recent book she finished to the latest political issue to pop up on reuters.com. She will remember every fact you throw her way and is able to quickly break down logic and expose any lies you try to get past her. You better know your shit.
3. The Promiscuous Girl: Miss promiscuous is always on the prowl. You probably slept with her on your first date and she most likely dropped the “I don’t usually do this” line. With this girl you can take your number, multiply it by 3, and it will still be lower than her number. This girl will know at least one or two guys at every venue you attend and insists on keeping the P.D.A level down. She looks you in the eye 35% of the time during a conversation and her hands are quick to reach at her constantly buzzing phone. She’s a magician in the sheets, knowing where and when to push all of the right buttons, but you better wrap it before you tap it.
4. The Crazy Girl: This is the girl whose Dunbar number is in the single digits by choice. She’s quick to irrationally accuse and stretch to extreme measures to get her way. At some point, you’ll awake to her reading messages in your phone. She’ll most likely drop the L word within the first couple weeks and have a toothbrush and extra key at your place within the first month. She is filled with questions to all of your decisions such as, ‘why wasn’t I invited to guys night out last weekend?‘ Uhh, you know why! She is also the type to hint about marriage and propose that you guys move in together within the first 6 months. This girl is likely to focus on you more than her work and hasn’t lasted three months without being in a relationship. Stay away.
5. The Right Girl: She has the perfect balance of the previous 4 girls. She is the girl who will have you carefully calculating every move to ensure that you don’t mess this up. The perfect girl understands your love of video games and will watch sports with you as well. She understands your quirks and doesn’t ask or recommend that you change any of your habits. She’s the type that Mom AND Dad will like and can get along with your siblings. You’ll know who she is.
Have any questions for me? Send them over to LamaarLove@forevertwentysomethings.com and I’ll be sure to answer in my next post.
– Lamaar Love
