Lessons I’ve Learned From Corey Matthews

Author: Lauren Certo

Don’t Mess With Your Hair

I should have listened to Corey after he attempted to straighten his hair and it backfired but I didn’t.  My sophomore year in high school, I begged my mom to let me get blonde hi-lights.  I swore to the high heavens they would look amazing.  My mother refused to pay for them (rightully so) and I put all my summer babysitting moo-lah to get some sun-kissed tresses.  I only did it once, thank god because it looked horrible.  Don’t Fix What Ain’t Broke.

Mr. Feeney…Enough Said

The man, the legend, the glasses–love all his words of wisdom

Be A Good Friend

Sean Hunter.  We loved him, we hated him.  He was always the rebel, troubled friend.  We’ve all had/have one—they just can’t seem to catch a break and always want to break the rules, but it’s important to stick by your friend even if they get you arrested for public intoxication.

If You Roll With Hott Friends It Makes You “The Funny One”

With Sean Hunter and his hott brother Jack roaming the world, the Matthew brothers taught us a valuable lesson—you don’t stand a chance landing your dream girl when you have a hot friend.  Therefore, be friends with creatures from the black lagoon instead of GQ models your chance of landing a date will increase drastically.

Cheating Ain’t Right

It’s a big no-no however you want to slice it.  It shouldn’t be done: not  in ski lodges and definitely not at Chubbie’s or any public place for that matter—people will see that shit.

Don’t Get Married In College

I’m all for the power of love and being with a person forever–but I don’t understand how no one else other than Mr. and Mrs. Matthews discouraged young Topanga and Corey to not get married.  Nowadays its Rachel and Finn from Glee.  There were a zillion couples in my high school that were “in love,” but no one was stupid enough to put a ring on it at eighteen years old…you can’t even get drunk at your own wedding!  I applaud Corey for showing me that there was no way in hell I’d live in Couples Campus at college, though.

Wearing Leather Will Make You Cool

First, Mr. Turner rocked it.  Harley rocked it.  Then Sean rocked it.  In turn, Corey tried to rock it to a dance, but he had to pose as Sean to get all the ladies….there you have it – plain and simple: leather gets you laid.

Don’t Join Cults

We all do dumb shit every day but just don’t do this.  Even if Mr. Mac is Ryan Gosling…well, maybe it’s okay if it’s Ryan Gosling.

Life’s Tough. Get A Helmet

Only wise words Eric spoke.  Words to live by.

Fly Your Freak Flag

If Topanga taught us anything it’s that bangs are a mistake and it’s okay to be a little weird.  We are all strange and quirky in our own way so dance in the living room, eat peanut butter with tuna, draw on your face with lipstick—whatever it is—own it.