Woman with a baby doing a selfie lying on wooden floor

I got Facebook in 2005. I was a senior in high school so I had to get invited by a college student because back then Facebook was exclusively for college kids. Before that, I had MySpace, and waaaay back before that, I kept all my personal info on my AIM profile and my subprofile.

My parents never understood my obsession with putting personal information about myself online (which is funny because now I write about my life online for a living). But if they grew up in the world of social media, they would have totally understood (I think???).

Here is how different life would be if parents of 20-somethings had Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.


1. Instead of family and friends saying ‘I remember you when you were little,’ they would say ‘I remember seeing you in your ultrasound!’

This is scary.


2 When your parents would try and tell you that underage drinking is bad, you could have just pulled up their Facebook page and been like ‘mom you were totally wasted in this picture from 1978.’

It’s true.

3. Your most embarrassing childhood photos could have gone viral or become memes.

This would have happened before you could even defend them, forcing you to grow up as the [meme title here] child.


4. Same for your most embarrassing childhood video.

I already did enough damage posting videos of myself on Youtube as a teen. But what if there were videos circulating the web of me singing songs from Annie as a youth? I thought I could sing as a child. I could not sing. Thank god footage of me singing as a child doesn’t exist on the internet.


5. If you were an attractive child, there would have been a better chance you would have starred in commercials or become a child actor.

This would have been a plus for all attractive kids out there. Because before the Internet, if your parents weren’t helping you become famous, you weren’t becoming famous (at least not as a child). But what if you were attractive enough to BE famous? You could have started developing followers at a young age. Oh well.


6. The majority of your childhood pictures would not be of you alone — they would be selfies with other people, taken strictly for those people to get ‘likes’ on social media.

Lol, imagine having a bunch of pictures online of you with your mom’s friends she hasn’t talked to in 20 years? You would be all like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, and wouldn’t be able to have the photos deleted if they were embarrassing.


7. You would have grown up thinking ‘wow, my parents have a lot of friends’ instead of assuming adults just lose all of their friends once they have more than two kids.

Actually, with the help of social media, your parents would actually probably have a lot of friends still. Maybe. I think. Or maybe you are just doomed to lose friends as you get older, no matter how connected you are to people online.

8. You would never get yelled at for ‘always being on your phone’ because your parents would ‘always be on their phones’ too.

The need to be plugged in is real.



9. You wouldn’t be able to hide anything from your parents online because they would be ~internet savvy~.

They would find you. Like, take me for example. I am internet stalking professional. My future children are screwed.


10. You would have found some awesome dirt on your teachers and stuff.

Basically, everyone has a past, and if you had social media in the past, your past is public knowledge. Imagine how many people wouldn’t have the careers they have today if they had social media as a youth… hmm…


Here’s the thing, though. If this fictitious world where your parents used social media was real, you would have NEVER used social media, too. So, uh, I guess this list makes no sense. Also, what does this mean for our future kids? If they refuse to use social media, what WILL they use instead?


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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