Dear Mr. Steamy,

I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am, knowing that I get to see you later. I’ve been dreaming about it all day. My friends think I have a serious problem but I think they are just jealous. How do you always manage to look and smell so good? Don’t you ever get tired of just being so perfect? Week after week, you never disappoint.

My friends tell me to pace myself that I’m falling too fast, but I just can’t control myself around you. Your scent is so intoxicating and yet, so familiar. I wish I could bottle you up and spray my pillow with your scent every night. Actually, come to think of it, I think I can smell you right now. Which reminds me, I have to take out the trash.

You can pull off just about anything. I mean seriously, everything looks so good on you! I know I say this all the time but I like you best when you are plain. There is no need to get all fancy just for me. I love you just the way you are, without all the extras.

How do you maintain a tan year round and not to mention, that amazing body? You must have a celebrity trainer or something. Who is it? Could you refer me? I could really use the gym motivation these days. They must have you flipping and stretching all the time. Is it hot yoga? I’ve heard that’s really good for you. Speaking of yoga, did I mention that I really need to get back to the gym? It’s just so hard. All I can think about is you and then laying around on the couch all day, feeling full and content. My friends keep telling me I’ve fallen in some sort of coma and that I need to snap out of it. But I don’t care what they think. I could live in this love-induced haze forever.

My sister always asks me if she can meet you, but I’m not quite ready for that yet. You understand, don’t you? I’m confident she will fall in love with you right away and I thought of having to fight for your attention is just down right awful. Is that terrible for me to say? It’s just, what we have right now is the greatest thing and call me selfish, but I just love having you all to myself. She always tells me how greedy and rude I am because apparently someone like you is made for sharing. Like where are we? The set of Sister Wives? I don’t think I’m being rude and greedy; I’m just a monogamous kind of gal.

I’ve really learned a lot from you over the last couple of years. I’ve learned to truly savor and to always treat myself. I think I might be addicted to you because the moment you are gone, I swear I spiral into a deep, dark depression. I just want more of you, all day every day. This might be a bold thing for me to say, but I think I love you. Like, love you, love you. I hope that wasn’t too much for you but I just had to say it. I’m sure you have girls telling you that all the time, actually I know they do; I’ve seen your fan pages on Instagram. But that doesn’t change the way I feel, I truly mean it. I’d feel empty inside without you.

Has anyone told you how much of a classic you are? I showed a picture of you to my mom the other day and she even thought you were good looking. A real classic beauty, she said. You are such a staple in my life and I promise I’ll never get sick of you. If I could, I would have you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I know, listen to me! I’m like a crazed maniac.

I’m so happy that you love me even when I’m wearing sweats and curled up in a blanket on the couch. You never judge me and whenever you are around, I always feel like the luckiest girl in the world. My mom keeps telling me not to let myself go. Do you think I have? I know sometimes that happens when you get into a serious relationship. I just really like to be dressed comfortable around you, so we can cuddle on the couch.

Okay, I’ll be honest. I think I’ve gained a few pounds since meeting you, but it doesn’t bother me. Does it bother you? I was definitely a lot thinner before I met you but I truly can’t imagine my life without you now. A little weight gain isn’t the end of the world, right? I mean come on, it’s only 15 pounds. If weight gain is the only consequence of our love then baby, I’m just going to have to buy some new pants! I miss you already!

Is it dinner time yet? Sigh.


Your Cheesy Pie


Erin Jean is a Boston based smart mouth who lives in suburbia with her kick-ass husband, yes you read that correctly, I'm a married woman, people! She graduated from Endicott College in 2010 with a degree in Contemporary Journalism. She loves tattoos, writing, and slush (it’s an addiction people). When she is not working for the man, she is riding on the back of motorcycles, online shopping, and reminiscing about her younger years. A typical week consists of watching too much Bad Girls Club, mentally preparing for a zombie apocalypse, and trying to get a body like Mila Kunis (please insert laughter here). Feel free to stalk her life via pictures @mrsbadnews13 or on twitter @erinlissa

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