If you know me, you know that I drink one thing and one thing only – THE CAPTAIN. You also know (or might not know) that I keep a notebook of everything I eat, how many calories I consume, and what I do at the gym. Lately, I’ve been guessing the amount of calories in my alcohol – I would write “Drinks – 500 calories” for a night… Little did I know, I was wrong. So very wrong.

Today, for some reason, I decided to look up how many calories are actually in my captain and diet cokes. I read here that there are 75 calories in 1.25 oz of captain. Last night, I bought a pint of captain (as usual) and there are 16 oz in a pint. YES, 16 oz…. Somehow I managed to drink the entire pint of captain (and stay alive), so after doing the math I discovered that there are 960 calories in one pint of captain. That’s absolutely disgusting. I think I am going to have to stop drinking…

JUST KIDDING. But seriously. My beloved March diet is going to be harder than I thought because of one tiny, little (calorie filled) thing:

The Captain!


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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