Okay, so I was just reading this article on hercampus.com titled “10 Reasons To Get Pumped For Post-Graduation Life” and I had to immediately stop what I was doing (aka procrastinating and reading interesting articles I see on Twitter) and revoke what is said on this list. I think they are missing the actual reasons to enjoy life after college – and most definitely giving false impressions. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I don’t miss college and I enjoy having no social life during the week and I don’t mind when I’m too tired to go out during the weekend and want to stay in with my boyfriend on a Saturday night and watch the news while falling asleep – because let’s be serious… I miss my days of knowing everyone at the bar, running around Ithaca like a drunk idiot, and making nightly bad decisions.

So my friends, I am here to give you a reality check… broken down by each of the 10 reasons Her Campus gave… and don’t worry, I’ll add some of my own reasons (actually make that one reason) that are absent from this list at the end.

1. You’ll never have to wear shower shoes again. Okayyyyy, this one should immediately be off the list. WHO, in their right mind, was wearing “shower shoes” past sophomore year of college? I don’t know about your schools, but most people I knew (who went to school all over the country) were living off campus in apartments or houses by their junior year of college. AKA “shower shoes” were not part of our college wardrobe as upperclassmen, duh. If you’re still living in a college dorm room sharing a communal bathroom with your hallmates during your senior year, you should probably re-evaluate your life and/or social skills. Most colleges have on campus apartments and suites where “shower shoes” are not needed as well, so no excuses.

2. No more textbooks. Ever. This one would be fair game if, of course, GRAD SCHOOL, did not exist. I am not in grad school, but that doesn’t mean I will never go to grad school. And tons of people I know are still in school… Med school. Law school. People getting their MBAs. Also, by my senior year I had already come to realize that I did not actually use ALL my textbooks, so I didn’t buy them until the professor said we neeeeded them… and my friends and I shared as many as we could. When I think of the perks of being a post-college grad, the lack of textbooks in my life does not come to mind.

3. You can kiss all-nighters good-bye. False. Unfortunately, if you want to be successful in life, your job is going to involve some high pressure work hours. Of course, this is not the case with everyone – but maybe your job involves the occasional overnight shift or maybe you ONLY work the overnight shift… Maybe you’ll have to be at work for an event one day at 4 am and therefore don’t sleep because that usually works out better than sleeping 2 hours and having to wake up after that… OR maybe for a report that needs to be finished, you will be up all night trying to get everything done – but this time, instead of sleeping it off between classes the next day, you have to go into work… no matter what. All-nighters aren’t going anywhere my friends – especially since you have to cram your raging time into one weekend, as opposed to stretching it out all week long.

4. Your dating scene just got upgraded. No, I’m not single, but I can attest to the fact that the dating scene does NOT get upgraded when you graduate. NOT AT ALL. Yeah, you’ll be older and older men have actual money to spend on you, unlike the poor college kid… but that just means you can now get wine and dined for sexual favors – when at school, if you got wine and dined, that meant he was INTO you. Also, its not that easy to actually meet a guy at a bar who is going to want to talk to you the next day. It is beyond sketchy to now go home with anyone you meet at a bar because you have NO idea about their past and who the hell they are. At school, you knew everyone – even if you just knew their name – so it was fine to go home with someone… but not in the real world. Of course, if you want to risk your life – fine, go ahead. Maybe you’ll get a good hook up, good date, or a long term boyfriend out of it… but that’s a major risk to take. So where the F do you meet guys??? At work? Who wants to hook up/date a co-worker? That could end horribly. Okay, I’m being super pessimistic, so I will stop. But you WILL end up going on a lot more DATES then you ever did in college… and that’s a plus.

5. You’ll never have to touch dining hall food again.

This brings me back to the “shower shoes.” I boycotted the dining hall sophomore year. The food sucked and helped me to gain 300 pounds my freshman year, so I resorted to making scrambled eggs in the communal dorm kitchen, heating up weight watchers meals in my micro-fridge, and making pb&j sandwiches on the daily. Of course, I still went to the d-hall every now and then, but for the most part – you get sick of it. Like I said, most people are off campus by their junior/senior year and have a kitchen of their own where they can make food. I know boys were still going to the d-hall with all the freshmen since they refused to cook, but most girls were not. I guess “no more dining hall” is a plus side to graduating? But I was over dining hall food by the beginning of my junior year. And now we have to buy our own food… And the food at the cafeteria at work is not only pricey, but it SUCKS. At least the d-hall was a free buffet to us.

6. You’ll probably lose some weight. Okay, I might just have to agree with this one. BUT the pounds do not come off without putting in any effort. Its not like you’re going to graduate and your social life is going to end… Nope, not at all. If you live at home still and don’t go out much anymore, YOU are even going to have to work to lose weight. You have free food stocked in your house everywhere and free dinners on the table when you get home from work. Healthy or not, you’re probably going to eat the food, constantly. If you want to lose weight, you’re still going to have to diet – duh. Also, your new job might require long hours and less gym time… Your job might even make you so tired during the day that you don’t even end up going to the gym at night. And you definitely aren’t ready to wake up at 6 am and go for a morning run and lift. Unfortunately, you won’t have your free campus gym to attend at any hour of the day – you will have to either join a gym, not join a gym, or have your parents pay for a gym. In addition to this, the drinking doesn’t end. No, you might not be raging Wednesday through Sunday anymore – but you are going to go out for drinks since you have money now… and restaurant drinks are calorie filled… Getting dinner and drinks after work is a diet disaster. So, all in all, if you want to lose the weight you gained in college, say goodbye to your awesome social life and say hello to the gym and frozen weight watcher meals. AKA the same diet rituals you pulled in college (only good thing is that now your diet has a better chance of actually working!)

7. You’ll have weekends that are actually weekends. I don’t know about you, but I hate my short weekends. Since I never can get anything done during the week (because I get home at 7/8 everyday from work and the gym and just want to sleep), I always have a thousand things to do and people to see on the weekend. And there is NEVER enough time to do everything I want to do. Shopping can only happen on the weekend since all stores close by the time I would be ready to do anything during the week (unless I gave up the gym – no thanks), but can I ever RELAX now? NO. College was full of relaxing. Yeah I had the occasional paper and occasional reading to do (umm BS, I never read)… but let’s be serious – I chose going out and going shopping over doing work. Didn’t we all?? Well now we can’t really make that choice… So NO, my weekend isn’t better than it was in school. In fact, my weekends and weeks were wayyy more relaxing in college – even though I was crazy busy.

8. You’ll have a new social calendar. No – you will have a shortened social calendar. I didn’t graduate, move in with my boyfriend, and start seeing my friends for dinner and a glass of wine as my main weekend social event. I rage harder than I did in college on the weekends – partly because I actually have real money now and partly because I have to shove my partying into one or two nights! If I didn’t worry about my weight so much, I would go out both Friday & Saturday night every weekend – AND would go out for drinks with people during the week (nothing too crazy during the week though). I am hoping that my “new social calendar” of cocktail housewarming parties and having the best part of my weekend be furniture shopping happens YEARS from now. And I mean YEARS.

9. You don’t have to sleep in an extra-long twin bed anymore.

You speak for yourself, writer of this article. I had a full sized bed my junior year when I lived in an on-campus apartment, and senior year I had a full sized bed when I lived in a house off campus… As I said, most upperclassmen live in an on-campus apartment or OFF CAMPUS by their senior year…. Anyway, I moved back home after I graduated and was back to sleeping in a twin bed – not even an extra long one. I’ve had my bed at home forever, and I’m not buying a new bed until I move out (it will be a full – don’t worry), but I’m sure I’m not the only one in this position. Of course, I escape my twin bed when sleeping in my boyfriend’s full sized bed in his apartment (mind you – he’s the one still in college & has the bigger bed!!!), but twin beds are not just for college students!

10. You’ll have a degree.

Okayyyyy this one might bug me the most. I have a degree. A bachelors degree in Television-Radio Production. I have a piece of paper that says I graduated and successfully completed 4 years at Ithaca College… but honestly, what has it done for me so far? I had two internships after I graduated IN ADDITION to the four I had before graduated – I definitely didn’t need a bachelors degree for those. Oh, and most of the jobs I interviewed for PREFERRED a bachelors degree… as in it wasn’t required… and I still didn’t get those jobs! I was without a full time job for 7 months after graduating and didn’t even have the option to apply or try to get jobs I wanted – because they simply weren’t (and still aren’t) available. On a more serious note, without my “degree” I wouldn’t have my current job – BUT I went to school for television production… where’s my job in television??? Where’s my dream job that you promised, Bachelors Degree? SIGH. PS When I look at my Bachelors Degree (which I don’t – because it’s not framed and I have no idea where it is), I am reminded of how boring my life is now and how hard I raged (not worked) in college.

Reason(s) to be excited for Post-College Life:

You will have money (whether you are working part-time or full time)

Her Campus left out the BEST (and maybe only good) part of post-college life!!! More money for clothes, booze, parties, cover charges to bars, a party bus, vacations, accessories, hair, shoes, presents, electronics, bags, gym memberships, your OWN apartment, ETC. Since you won’t be wasting all your time day drinking, working out, watching tv, occasionally writing the random paper, and begging your parents for money, you will have a lot of free time to work… If you’re unemployed, you can get part-time or freelance work until you get your first full time job. And if you have a full time job, you’re going to be so busy working, you’ll wish that someone would assign you a paper or two (I mean, look at me – I would procrastinate papers until an hour before they were due in college and now I write an effing blog). As I’ve said before, “it gets better” after college – and it does – because of MONEY. Money really does make the world go round.

Author

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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