This week on xoJane, an article was posted by Amanda Lauren about a ‘former’ friend of her’s who had committed sucicide. The post, titled “My Former Friend’s Death Was a Blessing”, wrote about why she was no longer friends with this girl and how she was happy that she had ended her life.
Not long after the post was made public under Lauren’s name, it was changed to by Anonymous before finally being taken down. In it’s place was a letter of apology from the owner of the site Jane.
Dear Anonymous Amanda,
I feel bad for you and anyone who is close to you. I feel bad because you felt the need to post an article about someone who you didn’t really know. Someone who you thought you knew based on what she posted on the Internet. You felt the need to write a rude, degrading article about someone you hadn’t spoken to in years. I would hate to know what you would write about the people you keep close, about the people you are still friends with. That is, if you have any left after that embarrassing article you dared to post.
Honestly, I kind of look up to you. You had the balls to post an article about a girl who was suffering. You took the time to craft a message up about someone who needed help. Instead of helping someone you once called a friend, you chose to think of yourself and your own needs. You are like so many people in the world and it is horrifying. You are someone who sits back and watches rather than does something when it needs to be done. I’m not angry at you for not helping this former friend of yours, but to take her illness and put it on blast because it wasn’t to your liking is what is disgusting.
It’s especially sad that you claimed her death wasn’t a tragedy but her life was. Who gave you permission to make that decision about someone else’s life? If anyone’s life is a tragedy, it is yours, because you feel joy and happiness from someone else’s pain.
As someone who suffers from a mental illness, I take more offense to your post, that I thankfully did not get to read. People who suffer don’t typically put it on blast on the Internet and ask for help. Go on and scroll through my Facebook page, when I was down in the dumps with my depression I never called for help on social media. Most people don’t. It’s not something that people like to share because it’s so negatively received by people these days. So while your former friend was ‘unraveling’ as you like to call it, she was probably asking for help. Help that you didn’t see because you were too worried about the negative energy she brought to your life.
While you thought she was a burden on her family and would eventually end up institutionalized is also ridiculous. Not everyone who suffers ends up in an institution and is not a burden on their families. Often times, families are supportive and want to help their troubled loved ones, not just have them locked up and forgotten about.
My main concern on your lovely post is that it doesn’t scare people from getting the help they need. Lucky for America, you are one in a million Amanda and I am so thankful for that. People who suffer shouldn’t be afraid to be public about their troubles because of someone like you. I know I fear people like you. I fear that if the day ever came when I was to do something stupid, that people wouldn’t be happy because I was no longer here. That people wouldn’t try to make fame over something that would trouble my loved ones.
I pray that your former friend’s family never got to read your post. The last thing they need right now is to see someone who finds happiness from their loss. Her family lost someone they loved because of a disease that plagues many people that you just couldn’t handle seeing on your Facebook timeline. You even chose to read it when you unblocked her and looked at her page. YOU DECIDED TO READ IT. No one ever made you read what she had posted but you continued to read it, why? Was it because reading her posts made you feel better about your life? Did her being unstable make you feel better about dating around LA or ‘not settling’ and ‘vowing to be the hottest wife ever?’ I hope it did.
I hope all this attention you are receiving is everything you’ve dreamed of. I can only assume you’d rather the attention on you, then on the real issue of mental illness.
For me, I hope any attention your post gets actually makes people realize how troubling mental illness is and what we can do to recognize those in trouble and help them, not shun them.
Thank you for bringing people like you to light Amanda, it’s people like you who are beyond help, as you said it, not those who are mentally ill.
