Alright well now that the Golden Globes are over (which are basically the Diet Oscars with some TV noise thrown in), I’m pretty sure everyone had a fairly reasonable idea of what the nominations would look like.  Thursday morning, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced this year’s contenders for the coveted Academy Award.

Best Original Screenplay
American Hustle
Blue Jasmine
Dallas Buyer’s Club

Alright.  Well if the award doesn’t go to “Dallas Buyer’s Club” or “Her” I’ll be incredibly surprised.  Everybody is flipping the fuck out over the movie about a guy falling in love with his iPhone, and I’m sorry but did you SEE Matthew and Jared post DBC?!

Best Adapted Screenplay
Before Midnight
Captain Phillips
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street

I think we can all pretend it’s going to go to other movies, but deep down, 12 Years a Slave has this in the bag…which is a major shame, because I’m pulling for all things Leo related.

Visual Effects
The Hobbit:  The Desolation of Smaug
Iron Man 3
The Lone Ranger
Star Trek into Darkness

If Gravity doesn’t win, IMAX theaters everywhere will weep.  This movie was the reason IMAX was made.

Sound Mixing
Captain Phillips
The Hobbit:  The Desolation of Smaug
Inside Llewyn Davis
Lone Survivor

I would actually like to confess I have no fucking clue what sound mixing entails.

Sound Editing
All is Lost
Captain Phillips
The Hobbit:  The Desolation of Smaug
Lone Survivor

I’m assuming this would be the editing of aforementioned mixed sounds…so just give it both to the same movie.

Short Film, Live Action
Aquel No Era Yo (That Wasn’t Me)
Avanta Que De Tout Perdre (Just Before Losing Everything)
Pitaako Mun Kaikki Hoitaa?  (Do I Have to Take Care of Everything?
The Voorman Problem

No comment.

Short Film, Animated
Get a Horse!
Mr. Hublot
Room on the Broom

Also, no comment.

Production Design
American Hustle
The Great Gatsby
12 Years a Slave

I would love to see Gatsby win, not only because of my Leo OBSESSION, but because I really really loved Gatsby (judge me).  However, I think this one will probably wind up going to Gravity.

Music, Original Song
“Alone, Yet Not Alone,” from Alone Yet Not Alone
“Happy” from Despicable Me 2
“Let it Go” from Frozen
“The Moon Song” from Her
“Ordinary Love” from Mandela:  Long Walk to Freedom

Everyone’s up in arms over Frozen, but I think Mandela’s getting the win here.

Makeup and Hairstyling
Dallas Buyers Club, Adruitha Lee and Robin Mathews
Jackass Presents:  Bad Grandpa, Stephen Prouty
The Lone Ranger, Joel Harlow and Gloria Pasque-Casny

It’s pretty obvious DBC should be the winner here, but I would love to see Bad Grandpa win just so Jackass can be associated with the Academy.

Foreign Language Film
The Broken Circle Breakdown, Belgium
The Great Beauty, Italy
The Hunt, Denmark
The Missing Picture, Cambodia
Omar, Palestine

I can’t.

Film Editing
American Hustle, Jay Cassidy, Crispin Struthers and Alan Baumgarten
Captain Phillips, Christopher Rouse
Dallas Buyer’s Club, John Mac Murphy and Martin Pensa
Gravity, Alfonso Cuaron and Mark Sanger
12 Years a Slave, Joe Walker

I’m loving Gravity here again just because DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE!?

Documentary, Short Subject
CaveDigger, Jeffrey Karoff
Facing Fear, Jason Cohen
Karama Has No Walls, Sara Ishaq
The Lady in Number 6:  Music Saved My Life, Malcolm Clarke and Nicholas Reed

Can’t care.

Documentary Feature
The Act of Killing
Cutie and the Boxer
Dirty Wars
The Square
20 Feet from Stardom

American Hustle, David O. Russell
Gravity, Alfonso Cuaron
Nebraska, Alexander Payne
12 Years a Slave, Steve McQueen
The Wolf of Wall Street, Martin Scorcese

Obviously Scorcese is favored, because he’s Scorcese, but I think if anyone deserves a director’s nod, it’s Steve McQueen for 12 Years a Slave.

Costume Design
American Hustle, Michael Wilkinson
The Grandmaster, William Chang Suk Ping
The Great Gatsby, Catherine Martin
The Invisible Woman, Michael O’Connor
12 Years a Slave, Patricia Norris

If Gatsby doesn’t win, all of those beautiful flapper frocks were for naught.

The Grandmaster, Philippe Le Sound
Gravity, Emmanuel Lubezki
Inside Llewyn Davis, Bruno Delbonnel
Nebraska, Phedon Papamichael
Prisoners, Roger A. Deakins

Gravity.  Duh.

Animated Feature Film
The Croods
The Wind Rises
Despicable Me 2
Ernest & Celestine

Frozen is this year’s favorite, and with good reason.  I’m putting my money on the Disney tale.

Actress in a Supporting Role
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Julia Roberts, August:  Osage County
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
June Squibb, Nebraska
Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave

I’m just going to say it:  Lupita got ROBBED at the Golden Globes, and she should win this Oscar.

Actor in a Supporting Role
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave

This is probably the toughest category of the awards show.  Jared Leto transformed himself for his DBC role and had one hell of a performance, Jonah Hill was AMAZING in Wolf, and Bradley Cooper has become the always a bridesmaid, never a bride tale of the Oscars, hasn’t he?

Actress in a Leading Role
Amy Adams, American Hustle
Judi Dench, Philomena
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Meryl Streep, August:  Osage County
Sandra Bullock, Gravity

Meryl.  Fucking Meryl.

Actor in a Leading Role
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Chiwetel Ejiofer, 12 Years a Slave
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street

Is anyone noticing how absent Tom Hanks is even though Captain Phillips was nominated in virtually EVERY OTHER CATEGORY?  Rude.  Anyway, I would LOVE Leo to win, because I LOVE Leo, and he was absolutely brilliant in Wolf, but I think Matthew McConaughey deserves this one.  He literally lost five million lbs, and that’s the kind of role you ruin your metabolism to win an Oscar for.

Best Picture
American Hustle
Captain Phillips
12 Years a Slave
Dallas Buyers Club
The Wolf of Wall Street

Wait, Bad Grandpa wasn’t nominated?  Alright, well my guess is that it will go to DBC or Her.


After graduating from Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizadry, and realizing her degree in The History of Magic was hardly applicable in any employable realm, Alex decided to stop doing acid and actually get a BA in English. A comedy writer living in Brooklyn, NY, Alex enjoys stalking ex-boyfriends, drinking coffee, plotting ways to meet Suri Cruise, and drinking cheap wine out of an over priced Crate and Barrel glass. Follow her on Twitter if you're entertained by hot messes @Alex_Engelbert.

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