One cannot simply recap last night’s Pretty Little Liars because it was actually out of control. There was a party, on a train, that basically the entire cast was at, and someone died. Aria was roofied and almost killed. Spencer found out some serious info about Ali’s death. Emily’s costume was super hot – as for her girlfriend, not so much. However, Paige did rescue Spencer since someone tried to kill her too (surprise, surprise). And Hannah made out with masked Caleb all night who is now all better from his gun wound. It was a typical episode, but many questions came up for me. The following being:

Who would actually want to party on a train? Trains are not where the party is at. Trains are a way of transportation, just like flying, driving, and taking the bus. Trains are usually not very nice unless you’re on the Accela, which these kids most definitely were not. And even so, that train is nice because of the seating. You don’t sit at a party.  Wouldn’t these kids have learned from Sex and the City? You can’t make turn a train into a good party. Also, can we talk about everyone’s ridiculous Hollywood entrance into the party? Spencer and Toby looked they just stepped on to a runway. It was weird and unrealistic… but I guess that’s the show’s theme… and I don’t hate it.

What kind of high school kid can afford to throw a party with a band on a train? Even if a kid from Rosewood was thinking of throwing such a party, how could they afford it? I mean seriously. This isn’t the Pretty Little Liars of Beverly Hills. Yes, we know they aren’t poor. We can tell these kids all come from upper middle class families. Maybe this one party thrower is one of the wealthier residents of Rosewood, but, like, even so – as we said before – trains are gross and annoying. What kind of rich/wannabe rich kid would want to throw a party on a train? Maybe one who wants to KILL someone… like A. Do the liars even question the person that threw the party. I mean, that person probably has something to do with A… like, duh.

Why was Adam Lambert there? I don’t know.

Where were the chaperones? I understand having no chaperones at a high school house party, because HS house parties are only thrown when parents are away… But to RENT  a train for a high school party and not have any adults on board? Or, like, train staff? How did these kids run so freely through this extremely long train? How did they enter all sorts of rooms and the outside? It makes no sense. Absolutely no sense.

Why wasn’t anyone drinking? As stated before, this was a high school party. BUT WHERE WAS THE BOOZE? For a second, I thought they were drinking when Jenna went to grab drinks from the ‘bar’ but she grabbed a f*cking bottle of water. Who drinks water at a high school Halloween party? It’s not like any adults were on the train (except the pedophiles who love to befriend children i.e. Ezra and Garrett).

Why was Garrett there? Garrett is not in high school. He graduated and is/was a cop. So WHAT was he doing at a high school Halloween party sans booze on a train that clearly had people on it that wanted to (and did) kill him?! And whyon a train – would you tell the person who used to be your enemy the truth about who you think killed her best friend? Wouldn’t you think that if someone heard they would, maybe, kill you? Because they did. Garrett told Spencer he didn’t kill Ali, but the last time he saw her she was with Aria’s dad? Why in the world would that be such a huge secret that would make A angry enough to kill. And WHY would that secret make Garrett hate the liars? So many questions, but now he’s dead. All her baby daddy’s keep dying.

What’s with the ghost? Is this showing turning into True Blood or some other sort of sci-fi show I wouldn’t know of because I don’t watch such shows? Pretty Little Liars used to be semi-believable (a little over the top, but kind of believable… kind of), but now – a ghost? No. And what’s so special about Hannah’s mom that she would be able to see dead people? The ghost that shows up at Hannah’s home is a young, blonde girl who wants to call her mother. When Hannah’s mom goes to find her, the girl is in Hannah’s room and tells her that her mom was upset when she asked if she could go home. And I wonder who this girl is… It’s Ali! Ali’s twin sister most likely took her place when she died… and now is still alive f*cking with everyone. But regardless… WHY THE GHOST? I felt like I was watching one of those scary movie commercials because I never actually watch the movies. I mean come ON.

Why did Hannah’s mother dress up as a nurse? Sure Hannah’s mom is dating again which might make her feel like she’s young again… but newsflash: she’s not. To be a nurse on Halloween is to be sexy because for some reason men find slutty nurse costumes that real nurses would never actually wear hot. Hannah’s mom is not only already dating someone, but she’s handing out candy to children with neighborhood parents watching. Did she really have to dress like a red headed slutty nurse? No wonder ghost of Ali gravitated towards the slutty parent when her own are neglecting her.

Why are the all the parents getting involved in teenage ‘drama?‘ I quote drama because the drama on this show is more than drama… it’s actually dangerous. People have been shot, killed, put in insane asylums, and attempted murder. Rosewood is f*cked. And not just the children. First we have Hannah’s mom talking to what is most likely the ghost of Ali’s dead body. Then we have Byron who cheated on his wife for a 20-something who he is now dating (even though he is not okay with his daughter dating her teacher… which actually isn’t okay by law). And now Byron may have killed (and slept with) Ali. I saw sexual tension. Did you? Aria’s mom was dating a guy way too young for her when we last saw her. And Spencers’ parents are never around and when they are, they are creepy as f*ck.

Why didn’t anyone emotionally react to Garrett’s death? Aria was locked in a box with dead Garrett and was about to be thrown off the train. She of course was freaking out in the moment, but as soon as she broke free from the box, she was pretty much fine. I’m sorry but if I was in a room with a dead body – nevermind locked in a small box with a dead body – I would be freaking the f*ck out for probably the next five years of my life. You know your life is extremely messed up when dead bodies and people dying doesn’t phase you. I mean Spencer was just talking to Garrett. She actually seemed to like him. Why didn’t she cry? And Jenna used to date him, but showed no emotion. None at all. It. makes. no. sense.

A murder just happened, yet all of the people who ‘had something to do with Garrett’ – and therefore are now suspects – are locked in a room with no police supervision. WHY? Of course the episode ends with a giant cliffhanger of the giant ‘bar’ falling over revealing a body bag with what seems to be Ali’s missing-now-found body in it. No one even looked what was inside. I highly doubt it’s Ali’s body because SHE’S NOT DEAD. But, umm, what’s in the bag? And why do we only see Jason’s reaction? Why are there no police in the room with the people they think may have just been involved in a murder? This show seriously makes absolutely no sense at all.

Of course we won’t find out the answer to these questions probably ever – or at least not until January when the show returns. But until then we will all wonder WTF is going on in Rosewood and counting down the days until it returns. Good job marketing. All shows should come back for a teaser ep during their off-season. But anyway, what did you think of this year’s Halloween Pretty Little Liars episode? Did you question anything?


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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