Pretty Little Liars Recap: Another Day, Another Fitz

So ABC Family loves hashtags and clearly someone who works there is very good at creating them. I used to get excited to see what actually happened on the show and now I just get excited for what clever hashtags will pop up in the corner during the show. I mean, #TheWrongFitz?! IT’S JUST TOO GOOD.

Anyway, this week’s PLL answered, like, two questions we asked last week… and made us ask basically a million more. Spence is getting closer and closer to being diagnosed a real live crazy person, Hannah’s life is way too easy, Aria gets close to – you guessed it – the wrong Fitz, and Em learns how to escape from a tower of terror. Here’s what went down:

Spencer is still snAppin’ and ABC Fam captured her crAziest moment in a hashtag of course (#SpencerSnapped). She gets kicked off the academic decathlon team because she didn’t show up to practice and decides the only way back on is to get nakey with Andrew, king of the oddly good looking nerds. Strip-nerding doesn’t work though (but it did for Billy Madison!), so she goes right back to square one… which… well, I’m not really sure what square one is except SPENCER HAS GONE FUCKING NUTS. Wren comes to Spencer’s ‘rescue’ after Mona tells him she’s ‘concerned’ about her. Instead of kicking him out, she tells Wren they’re going on a date ‘mental health outing’ to a film festival that is conveniently located in the same place as the Academic Decathlon. While there, she talks to Mona, who actually seems shocked by some of Spencer’s words, and then straight up attacks her like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls when she pretends to be a wild animal in Africa. After the brawl, everyone comforts Mona which makes NO sense. Mona legit tried to KILL Spencer once. If someone who once tried to kill me stole my job and got me fired and made everyone hate me, I would be — actually, that would never happen. Said killer would be in JAIL or, like, far far away from me. What is wrong with this town?! Wren was weirdly okay with this… but I have a feeling Spence could be on her way to the looney bin (like, the actual place) pretty soon.

Hannah decides to go see Uncle Father Jamie and ‘mapquests’ the way to his house Amish County. Okay, Hannah. Two words: Google. Maps. Mapquest is soooo five years ago. Jamie immediately admits to being Caleb’s dad and Hannah schedules a play date at the coffee shop (is there anywhere else to go in this town?) for the pair. They get along great and Hannah even ends up getting Jamie a job at the church. This whole plot line is way too predictable and happy. I highly doubt things will remain so easy for Hannah and Caleb… or at least I hope they won’t… It sucks when people actually tell the truth. YAWN.

Aria and Little Fitz are slowly becoming BFFs a little too close for comfort. CeCe hires Aria to take pictures of the clothes in her store for a website or something… and since Little Fitz is now always creepin’ (where are his friends? isn’t he in college?), Aria brings him as her assistant (assistant of what? holding film?). CeCe ends up sneaking out and lies to Aria about why she wasn’t coming back (was this a plot to get Aria and Wes alone? Or was it bigger thAn thAt?). While gone, Aria and assistant Fitz spill red wine on a white rug (classy) and then share a kiss in Aria’s bedroom (because Little Fitz is, you know, sleeping over… do you really think Ezra would be okay with this?!). During this kiss, #TheWrongFitz popped up in the left corner of my television screen and I laughed for, like, 5 hours straight.

Detective Emily is at it again – this time with Jason. After telling him his sister was prob preggers with Wilden’s baby, all because she saw a pic of Wilden on a boat in Cape May, Jason miraculously remembers seeing a picture of Ali on a boat in Cape May too. That picture being part of a collage of herself she made for her father (what kind of sick, twisted relationship did they have?!). The two head to Jasons’ dads office and find pictures of Ali with Wilden and CeCe (who claimed to have no idea who Wilden even was) and as they leave in the elevator tower of terror, it stops. For a minute, I thought Jason was going to murder Emily — because after finding out he was the one Aria stabbed on the party train, I was convinced he was bad news… but maybe he was trying to save the box? Anyway, Emily somehow jumps to safety but right after, Jason took the ride of his life as the elevator dropped all the way to… umm I have no idea. But somehow, he survived. Can someone tell me how? Because he looked way too good after the fact… and he was even able to escape the hospital.

In the meantime, A two A’s are kickin’ back, taking shots of Spencer (probs to get comfortable when he/she/they takes shots at Spencer — literally and/or figuratively). These A’s are becoming serious alcoholics. Someone really needs to tell them not to mix fire with booze.

Okay so, where did TobAy go? He’s, like, totally MIA. Doesn’t the school care that he’s not showing up? Where are his parents? And what happened to Jenna? Last I checked, she didn’t move out of Rosewood. She just went to a new school. Would going to a new school let these girls off the hook? Because if so, the girls are bound to graduate soon if they make it that far in life… Which brings me to a new question: are the lies going to follow these girls to college? Dun dun dun… Oh, and back to this episode – WHERE DID JASON GO? Is someone really trying to kill him? And is CeCe the ‘girl-in-the-red-jacket?’ And do we really have to call it that? What is this? Schindler’s List?

What did YOU think of last night’s episode? Let us know your questions and theories in the comments or tweet them to us at @forever20tweets!