PLL is that friend you can go for months without seeing, but when you finally reunite it feels like nothing has changed. That is exactly how I felt during last night’s ‘winter premiere’ of season three.

Of course ABC Fam had an all day marathon leading up to the main event that basically no one could watch except college students on break, which I guess is half of the show’s demographic. The other half being washed up 20-somethings who live vicariously through four teenagers that manage to look red carpet ready every day as they strut across their high school halls while they are casually stalked by multiple people who, like, want to kill them. NBD.

If you missed the marathon, or the ‘previously on PLL’ montage… or you’re just, like, not that good at solving mysteries… here’s what you needed to know before watching last night’s spectacle:

  • On the party train, Garrett told Spencer Alison was alive when he last saw her… and she was with (dun dun dun) Aria’s dad. Oh, and Jenna still thinks Garrett killed Ali, so for now post-blind bitch is not a threat.
  • Garrett is now dead. And if you forgot, that was revealed when Aria realized she was trapped in a small box that was trying to be thrown off the train with Garrett’s dead body. Casual.
  • While in said box, Aria stabbed the person who was trying to push it off the train. We still don’t know who this person is.
  • Mr. Montgomery’s 20-something girlfriend got a job at Rosewood High.
  • Oh, and Toby’s on the A team. Or something like that.

Here we go…

Mona is back, casually getting brain.

Mona is released from Radley and shows up at Hannah’s bedside in the middle of the night begging for her forgiveness. Are you serious? You tried to kill her friend and made her eat cupcakes! Not okay. She claims her parents are forcing her to go back to Rosewood and she’s terrified and needs Hannah’s help. Hannah being the moron she is seems perfectly fine that crazy Mona broke into her house and acts like nothing happened when Mona returns to school the next day. I mean, they were BFFs… they just had a little fight… kind of. On her first day back at school, while chatting with Hannah, Mona opens her locker to find a knife in a brain taped to the door with a note above that reads ‘Takes one Mad Cow to know another.’ For some reason, the entire student body is in that same hall and all stop to witness the torture Mona is enduring. Instead of running away after Mona begins walking down the hall with knife and brain in hand, everyone stays and watches while filming the show on their iPhones. What is wrong these kids? People are dying left and right in their town. When a crazy person has a knife, you RUN! Mona throws both of the items out, whispers something to Lucas, and runs away. A typical day at Rosewood High. After this goes down, Lucas walks away limping, implying that he was the dude on the skateboard hit by Toby. At the very beginning of the episode, we saw Toby chasing a hooded skateboarder in his car. We are convinced Lucas was Toby’s victim when he later tells Hannah the limp is from a skateboarding accident, even though she is convinced he was stabbed in the leg by Aria on the party train.

BFFs and a brain.

Aria’s dad might have been involved in Ali’s death.

Whoa. Talk about a total change of suspect. As Garrett said on the party train, Mr. Montgomery was the last person he saw Ali with before she died. And now Spencer is of course dead set on the fact that Aria’s dad was involved in the killing. She makes this known to her friends without an inch of remorse for Arias’ feelings. So… I think your dad killed our friend, NBD. Aria, in her God awful outfit full of stripes, animal print, and a Charlotte Russe circa 2007 looking shirt (AHH), gets upset because she knows Garrett’s reveal might be true.

Homewrecker Meredith is now Aria’s history teacher.

The liars enter class to find Meredith, Mr. Montgomery’s 20-something girlfriend, at the front of the room. She has replaced their once pregnant teacher and will now have to interact with her boyfriend’s daughter — AKA the daughter of the woman who’s husband she stole. Instead of warming up to Aria, Meredith picks on her for texting in class (doesn’t, like, everyone text in class now?) and takes her phone. At the end of class she asks to speak with Aria and gives her the phone revealing that she read the text she was sending (umm that’s prob illegal) which just so happened to be about her homewrecking abilities. Power trip much? I’m sure what Aria said was true. Side note: How are all four girls in, like, every class together? It makes no sense.

Ezra still doesn’t know he’s a baby daddy.

Ezra gives Aria his lucky marathon necklace (who knew Ezra ran marathons) for her race. He’s so excited for her to run, like, one mile that he pledged half of last year’s unemployment to the cause (whatever it may be). There’s nothing like paying for your girlfriend to get in shape (even if she wears a studded sweatshirt and skull t-shirt with leggings during the race). When she leaves his apartment, she finds an ‘It’s a Boy’ gift basket right outside the door with a note from A that basically says tell Ezra about the baby… or else. Hannah has already given Aria the go ahead to tell Ezra… and Caleb even helps her realize it’s the right thing to do with a story about his messed up parentless past. In this case, A is kind of doing the right thing. If Aria keeps this lie going, it’s only to get worse for her when he actually finds out. If she tells him, it will make short haired Alex Mack the liar – not her.

What. is. she. wearing?

Emily’s parents crack down.

More like Emily’s badass dad cracks down. Her parents install a security system in her house in which her dad can arm and un-arm remotely with an app on his phone. What app is this? He doesn’t want his daughter leaving the house basically ever – not even for school and work, but he lets those things slide because he kind of has to. He doesn’t want her going to the ‘race,’ even though she raised $274 in pledges (is that supposed to be a lot?) because it will be dark out. Why is this race at night? She ends up sneaking out anyway by switching her phone with her dads (SIM card operated phones? Really?) and un-arming the house before opening the window and climbing down the ladder that is so conveniently placed at her window. Emily’s dad is upset when he finds this out. He just wants to know what’s going on with his daughter. And Emily should probably tell him. He’s super badass and could probably take on the A, B, and C team all by himself so it would prob be fine.

Hannah’s grandmother is so random.

Where did she come from? Why is she here? Where is Hannah’s mom? None of these questions are answered, but Hannah’s grandma is staying with her and is more than interested in her life. She is the anti-A telling Hannah not to eat the basket of muffins given to her by Mona with a note signed by ‘M.’ What’s with Mona giving Hannah food? SHE DOESN’T WANT TO EAT. DUH. At least she didn’t force them down her throat A-style. Later in the episode, Grandma sings the national anthem at the race. This had to be the most out of place thing PLL has ever done. It. didn’t. fit. Sorry. Side note: Grandma reminds me of Hoyt’s mother from True Blood. I’m, like, waiting for her to become possessed and have sex with random people outside in a forest.

Mona is still a creep.

When Mona is alone in the bathroom with the liars (how does this always happen?), she tells them she’s changed and she will earn their trust back very soon. But later on, Caleb casually hacks into the school computer and prints the transcript of the meeting Mona had with her parents and the school. Apparently, Mona wanted to go back to Rosewood – her parents didn’t force her to. We assume she’s back to take care of unfinished business, but later we find out from Lucas that she’s not back… She’s been sneaking out of Radley for a while now. Why Lucas would tell Hannah this, we don’t know. Maybe he really isn’t on the A team. Maybe he’s just Mona’s bitch. But either way, Mona is not ‘cured.’ She then creates a viral video, which gets 1600 likes in a matter of minutes (this would never happen), that features her crying and saying how she was bullied as a kid, but is better now, and a whole bunch of other BS that makes the student body suddenly love her again (so unrealistic, but whatever).

Spencer is obsessed with her half brother Jason.

As we all know, Spencer is completely obsessed with figuring out who killed Ali, what the deal is with the NAT club, who the other A’s are, etc. Being the ‘smart’ friend, she doesn’t trust anyone except her three friends and Toby… which might not be so smart seeing as he might be secretly evil (there is the theory that he joined the A team to keep Spencer safe… so we still have hope). Spencer thinks that Mona is involved with the NAT club and now fears for Jason’s life (he is her half brother after all) because the other two members are dead (and Jenna transferred schools probably to avoid being dead as well). She is constantly talking about Jason’s newfound friendship with Mona and how she doesn’t think it’s okay. Toby basically keeps telling her to shut up, but she can’t. She can’t even survive a nice night in her hot tub (which is creepily surrounded by woods) with Toby without talking about Jason and Mona and then getting creeped out by a sound in the bushes. She’s so paranoid about everyone except what she should be paranoid about most… You know – her boyfriend.

The new janitor is the guy from the Lost Woods Motel (you know, the one where Mona’s A home base was).

Emily recognizes the janitor as the guy from the creepy motel, so she goes with Hannah to his office – which is in the creepiest place ever – to prove it. They notice Mona’s stuff in the office, so they head back during the race to check it out. They find what the janitor thinks is Mona’s diary, but Spencer realizes it’s actually Ali’s. Of course the page they open it up to is the one where Ali writes about how she pressured Aria’s dad into giving her money to keep quiet about his affair. She was expecting her next pay day to be the day she died… While reading it, they hear something so Aria rips out the page and the girls run. They are met by the creepy janitor who tries to take the page out of Aria’s hand, but Toby comes down to find them and lets them go upstairs – paper in hand. As the girls head upstairs, the janitor almost looks like he tries to apologize to Toby, but nothing comes out.

Aria’s dad was totally involved in Ali’s death… or at least involved in her last night alive.

Mr. Montgomery talks to Aria about the way she treated his super young, hot girlfriend in class – even though all she did was send a text saying something along the lines of ‘that woman sucks my dad’s dick!‘ (which is true). He forgives her for it though because he knows how hostile kids can be to new teachers. But, umm, I don’t think your daughter is one to be hostile to teachers. She’s, like, dating one. Aria then asks him what he though of Ali and if he ever spent time with her alone. He gets all awkward and stumbles over his words, which makes Aria believe he really might of been involved. After reading Ali’s diary, Aria is convinced her father was involved in Ali’s last night alive… it just wasn’t clear if he was the murderer yet. Later on at the race, someone (A) leaves a letter for Meredith telling her to grab something from a shed. Minutes later, that shed goes up in flames, sending Meredith to the hospital. Convinced the liars were responsible, Meredith tells this to Mr. Montgomery and he then accuses his own daughter of the crime! What kind of dad sides with his 20-something girlfriend over his teenage daughter? After he leaves the room, he stands outside the door and hears Aria tell Spencer over the phone that A tried to frame them for the fire. You would think after hearing this her own father would feel compelled to find and hurt this ‘A’ person that is bullying his daughter… but he just stands by doing nothing. Mr Montgomery – are you part of the A team too?

Jason is not to be trusted.

At the end of the episode, we find Mona nursing Jason’s large wound on his porch. A wound so infected that it was indeed from the dirty screwdriver Aria stabbed someone with on Halloween. Jason was the person trying to throw the box off the train. Jason is on Mona’s team. He tried to kill Aria! What? But, like, who put his sister’s empty body bag on the train? Did he have something to do with that… or is he on the B team and that was just the work of A? So many questions. So little time. What we do know is that Jason is up to no good.

A is bored and now fucking with random fat kids.

At the end of this episode, we see A in his/her black hoodie taking the bolts off a bicycle. Then a random chubby kid comes outside holding an Academic Decathlon book, rides away, and obv doesn’t make it very far. We hear him scream and then the show ends. What?

So many questions. New and old. Toby, Lucas, Mona, Jason – they all seem to be against the liars… but who’s siding with who? Is someone out there making all of these people afraid of each other or are they really all targeting the liars? Did Mona try to rid of Meredith to make Aria like her? Is Mona trying to get Aria to tell Ezra about the baby to save her relationship? Or does A want to see Aria dead? Oh, and what ever happened to the ghost that showed up at Hannah’s house on Halloween and talked to her mom? Not to mention – where was Hannah’s mom? And CeCe? And Paige? And that hand waving around from the ground at the end of the Halloween episode? And Spencers’ parents? And Melissa? And Ella and her young lover? Etc, etc.

What are your thoughts and theories 20-somethings? What do you think is going to happen next? Leave it in the comments!


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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