Seth Cohen got engaged yesterday ensuring 20-somethings everywhere that there will never EVER be an OC reunion. Sigh.
But seriously. Ever since I found out the news, I’ve been swimming in a deep sea of sadness. Since Seth wouldn’t be with me after I confessed my love to him in my AIM profile (<3 143 Seth Cohen <3), I kind of accepted his relationship Summer Roberts because she was my idol. But then Marissa died… and Seth and Summer got married… and the show ended… and then they broke up… and then years later he started dating Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl… and now they’re engaged. Like, WTF.
I know a lot of you are thrilled that these two have joined forces via diamond ring, but IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY. I’m left with all these questions. SO MANY QUESTIONS. Here are some.
How did Seth, a west coast boy, meet Blair, an east coast girl?
Did he, like, entice her with a pretty pink flower and his precious puppy eyes?
Did he feed her bagels?
How did Summer Roberts take the news? Like this?
Did she get to say bye to Captain Oats… again?
Will Captain Oats be the Best Man? Or Ryan? Probably Captain Oats.
Is Ryan still with Taylor? Will she be in attendance?
How old is Sophie Cohen now?
Will Sandy’s eyebrows receive their own invitation?
Does Blair really love this guy more than I love this guy?
CAN THEIR RELATIONSHIP REALLY BE AS GOOD AS HIS AND SUMMER’S?!?!?!
Will his face look like this when she walks down the isle?!
She’s not even Jewish. #Wasp
HOW WILL YOU GUYS CELEBRATE THANKSGIVUKKAH? Yama-grims? (Pilgrim hat + yamaka… does that work?) (also, I know that’s not how you actually spell yamaka — but let’s be real… you didn’t). I have no picture of this creation because it doesn’t exist (yet).
Anyway, Mazel Tov Seth & Blair.
I wish you years of happiness… until you break up… because those good girls… they go bad. You’ll see.
…and then you’ll come running to me. BUT UNTIL THEN…