Maybe you’ve always wanted to have a one-night stand but you’ve been too afraid of the unknown. Maybe you’ve had plenty but have yet to experience any form of success. Look no further, because here are all of your questions about one-night stands, answered:
1. Where do I find a one-night stand?
That really depends on the type of one-night stand you’re looking for. There seems to be something that lives in many of us, some deeper down than others, that has the desire to be with someone just totally wrong. Think Charlotte and Harry on Sex and the City.
The sleazier you want the affair to be, the sleazier the bar/club should be where you’re looking. If you’re afraid to touch anything with your skin for fear of possible diseases, you’re getting warmer.
2. Do I go to his place or my place?
There’s really no right answer to this one. If you go to his place, he’s completely in control. He could have a torture chamber for all you know. He could have a room where he keeps women that he picks up at bars and forces them to dress like penguins and dance for him.
On the contrary, if you take him to your place, he knows where you live. Forever. And he could be insane. Ideally, I’d recommend a neutral spot. A hotel room, the corner of the club, the backseat of the car—try and avoid an actual location with connections to your personal life unless you’re pretty convinced this guy isn’t insane…and are they ever really not?
3. What if he tries something I’m not comfortable with?
Just say no. Who’s forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do? If he tries to, well, that’s why women carry mace.
And here’s another thing to keep in mind: you know that weird sex thing you’ve always wanted to try but been too embarrassed to mention to boyfriends? Yeah…we all have that one thing.
Try it here! The worst thing he’ll do is freak out and say no, and then what? Who cares? You’re not going to see him again anyway. Go for it!
4. What if I forgot to shave my legs?
The beauty of the one-night stand is in the name: IT’S ONE NIGHT. Didn’t shave your legs? Didn’t shave your pits? Makeup smeared all over your face? Bad hair day? Spinach in your teeth? It seriously doesn’t matter at all. It’s the ultimate form of freedom.
5. Am I supposed to cook him breakfast the next morning?
Was he good? Let me save you some trouble: whether he was any good or not, do you want to cook for him? If not, then bye. Unless of course, he took you there more than 3 times. Then you’re sort of obligated. (Spoiler alert: this never happens).
6. Last time I had a one-night stand I called out my ex’s name…what if I do this again?
Do it! In fact, do a roll call of all your exes if you feel like it! I said it before and I’ll say it again: this is your night of freedom! You want to act insane? Show him pictures of your cats? Walk around with your underwear on your head? Steal the candle out of his bathroom because you like the smell? GO for it!
7. Does this make me a slut?
Let me answer your question with a question: Does this make him a slut? Probably not. So in what logical world would it make you one?
8. What if he never calls me even though he says he will?
I’ve got to be a little harsh with you here: what did you expect? If you want to go out like a big girl, you’ve got to handle the aftermath like a big girl too. People don’t pick up strangers in public and take them home for one crazy night when they actually want to date them.
Sure, we’ve all heard that story of the friend of a cousin who met her husband after a one-night stand, or we watch What Happens in Vegas once and think it’s in the stars, but 99% of the time, it isn’t.
I’m not going to rule it out entirely because life is surprising and we meet people all sorts of ways, but this isn’t typically one of them. Have your fun, make the most of it, and then wake up the next day, go back to your life, and be a rock star with a great story.
9. Is this a good idea?
Of course, the answer to all of these questions are completely pointless until you ask yourself the most important one: Is this a good idea for me?
The answer varies from person to person, and even then it varies depending on what stage of life you’re in. For some women who’ve just been through a breakup, the best thing for the self-esteem is a random, nasty hookup. For others, that’s literally the worst thing you could do.
Luckily, no one knows you better than you. So sit down and ask yourself, do I want to do this? Or do I just feel like I have to? If you want to, then go all out and have the night of your life.
But if you don’t, I guarantee you can have just as fulfilling of an evening with a pint of ice cream and a Netflix binge. Stay true to you.