This may be old to some but this is news to me and my god is this hysterical. As we all know, Movember has come to an end and men everywhere have taken a razor to their manly and some not-so manly beards. Is that pencil shavings above your upper lip? Wait, how old are you? Thirteen? If I was a guy, I could grow better facial hair then some of these knuckleheads.

November is the month where men raise awareness for men’s cancer, which is totally awesome, until you try to kiss your boyfriend, friend with benefit, or Saturday night fling and are scratched half to death. Ouch! Shave that damn thing, you are killing me over here! There is not enough moisturizer on the planet for Movember. That’s why women everywhere welcome December with open arms, well that and it’s the holidays and you automatically get a fat pass.

Last year, a group of fine female comedians created a spoof called “Goodbye Movember, Hello Decembeaver”. The spoof video consists of three women who decide to not shave their “who-ha’s” in order to take a stand against cancer. Let’s fight this thing, people! I think these ladies are on to something here. I’m sick of buying fake moustaches to enjoy myself at the annual Moustachio Bashio. I want to be able to be lazy and not have to shave every day. Am I right or am I right?

The kind of cancer is never named in the video but hey, let’s band together, neglect our personal hygiene, take waxing professionals everywhere out of business and let it all hang out (or something like that). Maybe, it’s just me but this is some SNL level shit, I think it is absolutely hysterical! I’m not asking you to donate to my Decembeaver fund (if that’s even a real thing) but how funny would it be to completely toy with your guy and have the laziest December of your life?

The poor fellas in the video are absolutely tormented over the idea of their ladies’ muff’s becoming completely overgrown. I can honestly say I would never participate in Decembeaver, if it was a real thing, not because I don’t want to fight cancer and take a stand, but because I really don’t want to be itchy, you know, down there for 31 days. Let’s be honest, no one wants to see a girl scratching her cooter every 10 minutes.

And remember, “If a guy gives you a hard time, he must want you to get cancer.”

Author

Erin Jean is a Boston based smart mouth who lives in suburbia with her kick-ass husband, yes you read that correctly, I'm a married woman, people! She graduated from Endicott College in 2010 with a degree in Contemporary Journalism. She loves tattoos, writing, and slush (it’s an addiction people). When she is not working for the man, she is riding on the back of motorcycles, online shopping, and reminiscing about her younger years. A typical week consists of watching too much Bad Girls Club, mentally preparing for a zombie apocalypse, and trying to get a body like Mila Kunis (please insert laughter here). Feel free to stalk her life via pictures @mrsbadnews13 or on twitter @erinlissa

2 Comments

  1. Could you be any more silly? If you’d stop trying to stay in a stage of prepubescent girlhood and just let that shit GROW IN, it wouldn’t itch. Oh ick, hair. Seriously, grow up sister. And if your man gives you a hard time about it perhaps you may want to question why your “man” insists on his mate’s vagina resembling a ten year old. Are you sure you ladies who write this blog are twenty-something? Not 17 or 18?

    • Kalee,

      Maybe if you took a minute to actually read and comprehend the post you would understand that the article was written to bring awareness to women who are standing up to cancer. And one could argue that your insulting comment is on par with the immaturity of a 17 or 18 year old. If a woman prefers to shave her vagina it’s her own prerogative. Next time maybe you should stop and think about what you write on the internet.

      Molly

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