group of graduates

Six years ago this month, I graduated college. SIX YEARS. Back in May 2010, I thought people who graduated two years before me were older, never mind six years, so I get it if you’re a recent college grad reading this all like ‘this girl is OLD.’

Yeah, I might be too old to do a keg stand now, but I still remember graduation and the time period after it life it was yesterday. And when I think back to it now, I have no regrets (you should always live life with no regrets), but now that I’m older and wiser, I do have some words of wisdom for the class of 2016 (vomit, sorry guys).

Here are 8 things you shouldn’t do right after you graduate college.


1. Cry.

Don’t make the entire month of May and then June and July and August a weeping-fest. Sure, graduating sucks, but don’t waste time being upset over the past — spend time getting excited about your future. It’s here, whether you like it or not, and it’s actually going to be tons of fun if you stop moping around.


2. Spend all of the money you received as graduation gifts on alcohol and clothes.

This money is for your future adult life, not your present drinking problem. If that upsets you, FINE, go out and buy yourself a new shirt or a new pair of shoes and plan a vacation somewhere niiiiiice before you succumb to working the rest of your life. But don’t spend all the money you received. Put it in a savings account. Real life is here, and this place just keeps getting more and more expensive.


3. Refuse to move back in with your parents when they offer you the chance.

I moved back home right after graduating, but I insisted on moving out a year later. I for some reason thought, ‘I’m making money so I should spend it,’ when I should have been thinking, ‘I’m making money so I should save money.’ Now, I’m 27 and kind of broke (at least compared to where I thought I’d be at 27), and I wish I lived at home with my parents for at least a year (or two, or three) longer.




4. Complain that you are moving back in/living with your parents.

Not all parents let their kids move back in with them after college — and even if they do, not everyone has the ability to do this. Some people have to move to new cities for jobs, meaning they’re forced to pay rent and live the adult life even if they are totally broke and can’t afford it. If you are living in your childhood home, be thankful. Seriously.


5. Think that ‘settling’ would be taking a job that isn’t the one you’ve had your sights on since you stepped on campus four years ago, and refuse to settle.

The real world is not a relationship. It’s a world of many relationships, and it’s not like the first person you date HAS to be the person you stay with forever. Any experience is good experience. If you get that dream job right after graduating, great! But don’t expect it — and don’t get sad that you didn’t get it. Keep working hard and eventually you’ll get something even better.


7. Take your frustrations out on others.

Sure, struggling to find a job and adjust to working a job instead of going to school is hard, but don’t push people away or get angry at your parents/friends for no reason. Before you turn bitter and decide to hate your new life, try getting used to it. The whole making money thing – it’s not so bad.


8. Think that your life is basically over.

Yeah, it’s sad that you probably won’t see a bunch of your ‘friends’ anymore, but honestly, if they’re REAL friends you’ll see them. No – not all the time like you did in college, but I PROMISE you will soon be thankful for that. Part of growing up is embracing your inner house cat AKA loving alone time and hissing at anyone who tries to get in the way of you and the couch. Your life is really just beginning and now you get to figure out exactly where you want to take it. For now, enjoy the ride.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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