Welcome back to So…That Happened,M where, like wolves chasing abandoned fawns through dark woods, we catch you up on all the big news stories you got too busy to care about this week. Brace yourself because this week was ugly and it’s getting worse by the second.

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Egypt is falling apart
Do you guys remember the Arab Spring movement, that optimistic time when Egypt was a shining example of young people bringing democracy and human rights to their society? Yeah, that’s basically done now. Over 650 people have been killed and another 4,000 injured in clashes between police and protesters. Feel free to start pounding your head against the wall whenever.

If you haven’t been following the situation–and you haven’t been, have you?–here’s what’s going on. Back in early July, (democratically-ish elected) Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi was removed from office and replaced by a military-backed interim government. In response to the coup, Morsi’s supporters (members of the Muslim Brotherhood) began protesting in Cairo. On Wednesday, the interim government disbursed the camps of protesters, killing at least 638 people. This prompted a “day of rage” protest today, during with at least 34 people have died. President Obama condemned the violence and announced that the U.S. would cancel joint military exercises with Egypt, but didn’t go as far as saying the U.S. would withdraw aid from Egypt. Meanwhile in Boston, a single parking spot sold for $125,000. Kind of makes you feel like this, right?

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New York, the Center of the Universe
A judge in New York has called the city’s “Stop-and-Frisk” policy unconstitutional. The name gives you general idea of what stop-and frisk is about, but basically it allowed NY police offers to stop, question, and potentially search pedestrians that they thought looked suspicious. That’s all well and good, but studies have show that the policy is basically racist and maybe not useful. Mayor Bloomberg is appealing the ruling. Stay tuned.

OMG Science
All sorts of cool/awful stuff is happening in the world of science. Junk-eating fish have been found off the Scandavian coast, meaning gentlemen should strap on their steel swim trunks before take a dip in the Oresund Strait. Crazy (maybe dreamy? can’t decide) Elon Musk has released plans for his is-it-the-future-yet-Hyperloop train. If you like the idea of flying at 800 miles per hour in a tube mounted on pylons, this form of transport might be for you. College students prefer to have sex with one person instead of many people, much to dismay of every reality TV show about college students. The sky fell on Monday with the Perseid Meteor Shower. According to most of the internet, it was pretty awesome. If you missed it, sucks to be you because it’s not happening again until mid-next-decade. In further extra-terrestrial news, Area 51 is now a real thing. Hahaha too bad Will Smith already gave THAT secret awayAnd finally, a zoo in China tried to pass off a BEAUTIFUL Tibetan mastiff as a lion. Shockingly, no one fell for it. But he is still adorablllelelellel!!1!

Booze News (Bews?)
Rings with wine glasses on them now exist. Finally, a classy accessory to go with my shot-glass necklace! These rings (he made arm and thigh straps too) aren’t available for sale. According to their website, they will be distributed at private events hosted by Remy Martin. Remy Martin is a kind of booze you and I can’t afford. Also, the Korean beverage Jinro soju, which is basically a low-proof “vodka” is the number one selling alcohol brand in the world. Sorry PBR. This year, Jinro is set to sell about 60 million cases. The second best selling brand, Smirnoff, will only sell 25 million. I think I did college wrong?

We hope that you will catch up with us again next week. In the meantime, go and have a margarita. It will have to get better sometime! Right?


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