For probably hundreds of years – if not more – we ladies have been told and taught to wait for Prince Charming, the Knight in Shining Armor, Superman, or whoever else can come along and “save” you from your singlehood and whatever else might be plaguing you. We have idealized these men for all of these years, and we’re always disappointed when the Knight in Shining Armor turns out to be the Loser in Aluminum Foil. But it’s not their fault. We blame the men for not holding up the standards of old-fashioned behavior and chivalry. We’ve been taught that these ideal men exist, and we expect every man to be that idealized picture underneath his average appearance. Am I right? Of course I am.

Even SuperMan needed help saving Lois Lane.
Even SuperMan needed help saving Lois Lane.

However, we need to stop blaming the men for not being the Prince, simply because – wait for it – they’re not Princes or Knights or Superheroes. They’re regular, average guys, just like you’re not a Disney Princess, much though you may want to be one. If we want to use the Disney Universe for our standards, we need to be looking for the Flynn Riders and Aladdins and Kristoffs and Robin Hoods of the world. These guys aren’t perfect. They have flaws (okay, some of them are criminals) but they have good intentions eventually. This is a very loose metaphor, anyway. Maybe we should stop using Disney altogether.


Personally, (and I know I’m throwing it waayyyyy back here) I think the song “Two Princes” by the Spin Doctors kind of sums up the plight of the Loser in Aluminum Foil thing:

Marry him, marry me

I’m the one that loved you baby can’t you see?

Ain’t got no future or family tree

But I know what a prince and lover ought to be

I know what a prince and lover ought be

They know how to treat you like a lady, even if they’re not a prince themselves. Give these guys a chance…PLEASE.

Neither Heath nor Knights exist these days. Too Soon?
Neither Heath nor Knights exist these days. Too Soon?

You need to look for a guy who’s going to stand beside you, not sweep you up and save you – you can do that all on your own. We all need to be rescued at some point, but we can’t depend on the men to do it. Find someone who will support you, stand by you, and cheer you on while you rescue yourself. And let him know you’ll do the same for him. We can’t save other human beings. We can only love them and care for them.

Stop waiting. Stop wishing. Stop pining. Unless an actual Prince is within your reach, stop expecting Prince Charming to show up. You’ll miss the best opportunities with regular guys in disguise who will do nothing but adore you. Give them a chance.

Unless this guy comes along. Then you win.
Unless this guy comes along. Then you win.

A born-and-raised Jersey girl with a chronic case of wanderlust, Samantha spends her days reading, writing, and planning adventures. She currently teaches classes at the community college while living at home with her parents, trying and failing to become a part of the proverbial real world. Her dream is for someone to pay her for writing and traveling, but in reality she'll probably be teaching forever. Follow her mundane musings on Twitter @SamanthaG2012, and check out her personal blog,

1 Comment

  1. tiatruthteller Reply

    Well said, Samantha. This topic is dear to my heart. I agree that fantasized expectations will leave you sadly underwhelmed with reality every time. We are all flawed human beings and I believe the trick is to find someone you can respect, love and admire flaws and all, and vice versa. When we put such an emphasis on feeling “amazing” chemistry and “amazing” connections immediately (themes we enjoy seeing in movies) we don’t realize that in real life these can take a bit more time to develop. I say give a guy who is into you a chance even if he doesn’t appear the way you dreamed he would. (But not if you find him repulsive; in that case don’t even bother:)

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