The 12 Men of Christmas

We are in the thick of December, and 2014 is coming to close.  As I sit back and reminisce about this past year, I can’t help but think about how much of an angel I’ve been.  There is no doubt in my mind that I have earned a spot on Santa’s ‘Nice List’ this year.  So Santa, if you’re reading, I would really like you to take my below requests into consideration.  I’ll pass on the Hunter boots; the Michael Kors bag; the Burberry scarf.  I’m not really in the market for seven swans-a-swimming or six geese-a-laying.

Instead of the 12 days of Christmas, I think I’m going to put a different, festive spin on it this holiday season — the 12 men of Christmas sounds so much more palatable.  Forget the five golden rings — I would take one diamond ring (preferably a square cut from Tiffany’s) from any of the attractive individuals that are listed below.

Let’s get real — what woman wouldn’t be swooning if one of these hotties was all wrapped up under the tree on Christmas morning?  Santa, if you’re listening, you can come down the chimney with any (or all) of these beautiful men this year.  And if you do, I will leave you extra cookies.

1) Patrick Dempsey

Smart and sexy, just my cup of tea.  The only guy who could make scrubs and a white lab coat seem hot.  Great head of hair, along with killer eyes and smile.  Weave in that whole neurosurgeon specialization, and we have a true winner.  Patrick just seems like a very down-to-earth guy, and he’s the glue that holds the entire Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital together.  Unfortunately, Grey’s Anatomy took a turn for the worse, but I remained loyal to the show on Thursday nights for an extended period of time just because he was so cute.

2) Christopher Meloni

This man has made me live for Law & Order SVU marathons since I was about 15-years-old.  At one point, I got so into the show that I was convinced I was going to law school to become a D.A. or work in legal enforcement.  He’s such a badass with commanding attitude, and exudes a kind of power and sensitivity that is hard to come by.  He takes pride in defending those that need support, and has zero toleration for societal delinquency.  He acts with such passion and sincerity.  Additionally, I am really not a fan of tattoos, and Elliot Stabler is the only man that makes me find them appealing.

3) Hugh Jackman

I developed a huge crush on Hugh Jackman years ago, when I first saw “Someone Like You” — a cutesy B-list movie starring Ashley Judd that I found as a free download on Netflix.  He played a really douchey producer for a TV network, yet still came across as absolutely adorable.  I like his combination of theatrics and suspense (Les Mis vs. X-Men), and that let’s be honest, the Australian accent has the ability to make you go weak at the knees.  Quite arguably, he also receives bonus points for owning the scruffy, 5:00 shadow look.

4) Christian Bale

I’ve only seen the last 10 minutes of the Dark Knight; Christian’s most-lauded role in film.  What really did it for me was his part in American Hustle.  He was an overweight, sloppy, con-artist, and yet I found him so attractive (I was kind of confused as to how I felt while watching the movie).  I think it’s all about the attitude, and definitely about the voice.  A lot of people underestimate the fiery sentiment that is derived from tone of voice and eloquence of language.  He has the type of voice that can melt butter; the one where he could say virtually anything and you would just respond, “yes” or nod your head in agreement because you can’t focus on anything other than the sweet sounds coming out of his mouth.  He also has great arms, FYI.

5) Valentin Chmerkovskiy

I learned of the beauty of Val C. upon religiously tuning in to this past season of “Dancing with the Stars”.  Every Monday night, I made sure that the DVR was set so I could tune in and check [him] the show out.  There is just some kind of unspoken X-factor about a man that knows how to dance.  He can synchronize his moves with the rhythm of any song, own the dance floor, and develop choreography that has the ability to keep you astounded and entertained.  He looks great in virtually any costume, has his own clothing line, a hot Ukrainian accent, and plays the violin (so cute).  Full disclosure: I probably “like” every single one of his posts on Instagram.

6) Mark Wahlberg

I love Mark Wahlberg.  I feel like I cannot elaborate any more on this because he just leaves me speechless.  His role in “Shooter” is one of my Top 5 favorite representations of character in the film industry.  I could watch that movie every day and never get sick of it.  He comes from a well-rounded Boston family, wears Calvin Klein underwear like he’s doing it a favor, and will forever be a cute former rap star.

7) Tom Welling

Pretty sure that I can make a semi-blanket statement and say that every teenager/girl in their early-mid 20s had a severe crush on Tom Welling in the early 2000s.  He was the quintessential, preppy high school football star in Cheaper by the Dozen — probably the reason why I loved the movie and got the DVD for my birthday the following year.  In all honesty, I think he’s more known for his modeling than acting (no surprise with those features), yet he will always be a person that is fondly looked upon as the epitome of clean-cut hotness.

8) James Marsden

The man can dance, sing, act, and kill anyone with that glistening smile and blue eyes (note: if you haven’t noticed the above pattern, I clearly go for the blue eyes/dark hair combination).  He is a versatile actor, both rugged and virtuous.  Two most memorable James moments in film: singing a drunkenly cute version of ‘Benny and the Jets’ on top of the bar with Katherine Heigl, and the entirety of his sensitive and emotional persona in ‘The Best of Me’.

9) Sam Jaeger

Okay, Sam Jaeger is the epitome of hot Dad.  Definitely DILF status, if we’re being more candid.  His role in Parenthood annoyed me (abandonment as a consequence of jealousy is a serious no-no), but the man really knows how to turn heads.  He also cries like a pro — when a man cries, there is just something about that level of shed vulnerability that makes you find them even more attractive.  He’s a semi-unknowner in the business, but is dubbed #1 hot ginger actor in my book.

10) Jon Hamm

Clearly, the embodiment of successful douche.  The type of guy that you know you shouldn’t like, but are attracted to his mysterious and devious nature.  You kind of get lured in.  Jon is pretty much the personification of the successful, scummy guy in each role he plays.  Nevertheless, he is great eye candy, and someone that is really fun to look at.  In my opinion, he pulls off the professional combination of suit, tie, tie clip, and pocket square better than any other man out there.  He’s a 1960s, timeless kind of beautiful.

11) Ryan Gosling

If you know me in any kind of casual or personal capacity, you know how much I love Ryan Gosling.  Despite the fact that he is now a baby Daddy and subsequently off the market, I still think he’s the best.  He perfected the sweet Southern gentleman in “The Notebook”, progressed to the charismatic and elusive wheeler-dealer in “Crazy, Stupid, Love”, and even released his own single.  I could look at memes of him all day, and he virtually makes every other guy out there pale in comparison (slightly hyperbolic, but you catch my drift).

12) Eric Dane

I would voluntarily have facial reconstructive surgery if it meant that Dr. McSteamy was my doctoral consult and resident surgeon.  Again, plays an ultra-confident ladies man — he knows how hot he is and uses it to his advantage.  Very intelligent, great teeth, and his looks lead to a sincere appreciation for salt and pepper hair on a man.  When his character died in a plane crash on Grey’s Anatomy, I began to indefinitely boycott the show.