The following are named and described in order of appearance above. Here is what it means when you get each of these images:
1. Creepstah: I sleep with one eye open and a tongue out. If you get this face, try not to ever be alone with the person who sent it. They are either… sleeping with one eye open and a tongue out… or they are super annoying. If this face is not used in the creepstah sense, it is obv being used by someone who is annoying.
2. Constipation Nation: This face is code for ‘I just can’t go.’
3. Scared Ghost: This face is an oxymoron. If someone sends you this, they are probably pretending to be shocked at something you said.
4. Leave Me Alone: Go away, bitch. I’M STRESSED.
5. Reave Me Arone: This is the Asian version of the above face. He reminds me of the business Asian from The Hangover 2. If you receive this, someone probably wants to make a non negotiable business deal with you… or else you will die.
6. Furry Man: This guy is wild. People (aka I) send this for the fuck of it. Oh, I’ve run out of things to say to you? FURRY MAN. Oh, I’m wasted and can’t make words via text. FURRY MAN. It’s simple.
7. Crying Cat: This makes no sense. There are no crying dog emojis. Whoever made emojis is clearly a cat person… which is fine because so am I… but this cat isn’t even cute. So if you receive this, it is obv from an ugly crier.
8. The Pedophile: Ima rape you. This guy is a creep and a half. That mustache. Those eyes. Hi, please don’t rape me.
9. Happy Poop: Why is it so happy? This is like the South Park poop. Ahh I hate that word. If you get this, someone either loves you or hates you. There’s no in between.
10. Muscle Beach: is that way.
11. All The Single Ladies: Put your hands up, because if you get this emoji someone wants to celebrate being single with you.
12. Borat Girl: I call this face Borat Girl because I picture her saying ‘You can’t have this’ in Borat’s accent. Anyone? Am I alone? Probably. This is not a text you want to receive at 3am on a Saturday night.
13. Sally The Camel: had 2 humps. Ride Sally ride.
14. Horse: of course. I imagine this horse is a stick pony, like the one Channing Tatum rode in Magic Mike. Only being able to see the horse’s face leads to a whole lot of imagination. Perhaps Channing Tatum is on the other end. So if you get this, someone is trying to tell you that Channing Tatum is riding them and they can’t text you words until he’s done.
15. Hobo Santa: If this is supposed to be Santa, kids everywhere are going to think the man doesn’t exist. His beard is not long and he looks like a hobo. If you get this, someone is trying to tell you they hate Christmas.
16. Floppy Disc: What is this? 1985? (Oh no, having flashbacks to Bowling For Soup’s song… make it stop) … This is code for I AM TECHNOLOGICALLY DUMB.
17. CD-ROM: Had to add in the ‘-ROM’ to deem the CD as an old ass technology. Whoever made emoji’s is not only a cat person… but they are clearly stuck in the 90s. Just look at the ‘technology’ page in your Emoji’s. It’s all old shit! Perhaps this is the new way of sending mix tapes?
18. Home Phone with Cord: Ughhhh no one has phones with cords anymore. No one even has cordless phones. We just have cell phones. Do teens even know what these emoji’s are? They probably use them not knowing what it is… like when Lamb Chop sang that song about not knowing what it is… it was the song that never ended… and it went on and on my friends…
19. Beeper: Someone is trying to annoy you.
20. I DON’T even… know what that is. JK, I think it’s a typewriter… but anyone under the age of 20 probably wouldn’t know that.
21. TV with Antenna: Someone is calling you poor.
22. Radio: Yes, children. That’s a radio.
23. Pill: Remember Pink’s song ‘Just Like A Pill?‘ Because that’s what goes through my head every time I look at this emoji. If you get this, someone is asking you for something. And that something is probably drugs. Is this how college students ask each other for stuff now? Can I have [put emoji here]?
24. Cigarette: Codeword: I’m a hot mess.
25. NEEDLE: Is this heroin? Or someone’s already drawn blood? Because that’s pretty effed up you cat loving emoji-maker. Orrrr maybe it’s True Blood. If someone sends you this, they are trying to tell you they are a vampire. Duh.
26. Person in Bath: Please stop texting me. I’m relaxing in this really awesome, old school bath. Splish splash mother fuckers.
27. Tuba Man. If that is NOT a tuba with legs, please someone let me know what it really is. This means shut up.
28. Beer: This one is obvious: I need a drink.
29. Vacation Drink: Sending this drink in text form usually means ‘I need to get away.’ (Sorry if Lenny Kravitz is going through your head now)
30. Martini: Lets get wasted.
31. Wine: Code for ‘I had a LoOnNnNgGgG day.’ Red, red wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
32. Pizza: I’m drunkry (drunk and hungry, duh).
33. Fried Shrimp: If you get this, someone is trying to tell you that he or she is one classy mother fucker. The problem: He or she is not. Because this shrimp is fried.
34. Spaghetti: This is code for ‘will you go on a romantic Lady-And-The-Tramp style date with me?’
35. French Fries: Hungry mungries all over send this text to friends when they are drunkry or feeling fat. Yum yum yum. Fries.
What are your favorite emoji’s? Why do you send them? What do you think they all mean? Let us know! We <3 emoji’s.