The Mean Flirt

It goes back to the basics of elementary school flirting when a boy would chase you or push you around – however – flash forward twenty years and it is no way shape or form okay to treat a lady or better yet anyone like this.  The Mean Flirt will make unwelcome and unprovoked snide remarks and side jabs.  I’m not sure where guys think that this style of flirting is acceptable – because most of the time on dates women are nervous, worried, and with a touch of insecurity – so obviously let’s treat them meanly.  It’s one thing to be funny and sarcastic about life in general – in fact more often than not I welcome this way of thinking you almost need to be able to laugh at yourself in all aspects – however, when backhanded mean comments are directed towards us that’s where the line is crossed.  Honestly, my last date with The Mean Flirt I spent the entire time wanting to punch him in the nose because of his comments like “do you think you’re a better than most people because you think you’re a good writer?” First off – never said I thought I was a good writer.  Secondly, I would never boast about being better than anyone – I shop at Marshall’s and drink 4 dollar Trader Joe’s wine.  Let’s be honest.

The Undercover Freak

Unfortunately life’s worst hidden mystery.  If you haven’t come in contact with a undercover freak – god bless you.  If there was only a way to work this topic into normal first date conversation so you can head for the hills a little quicker.  “By the way – I’m into people peeing on me/obsessed with lube/sucking toes/wearing your clothes.”  Ugh, and once they are in your bedroom you basically have to suffer until there’s an appropriate moment to kick that fucker out of your bed.

The Cocky Douche

The sucky thing about dates is that they are like interviews – you completely have to sell yourself to the other person.  I tend to sell myself as this put together chick that wears make up and cute outfits but in reality I live in my workout clothes and my hair is almost never done (I mean who has time to straighten it in the summer?).  It’s all part of the game though – however when dealing with a cocky douche – he not only sells him sell HARD – he does it in a braggy way that makes him sound like his life is beyond and better than anyone…including yours.  I’m sorry but you are not that cool.

The Peter Pan

Take my advice and run as quick as fast as you can when meeting a this guy.  The Peter Pan is the guy who will never grow up and if/when he does grow up – I hope that you have deleted and ended all contact.  The Peter Pan does not understand the concept of being an “adult” or having any real responsibility.  He most likely still depends on his parents in some capacity whether it is his mom doing his laundry on Sundays or actually physically still living with his parents.  He doesn’t have any real long term plans or think of the future all that much.  And when it comes to his career phrases like “still figuring out my options” or “I have this really great idea for an app” will probably be brought into the conversation.

The Guy That Actually Doesn’t Want or Know How To Date

I have dated this guy – one too many times – and each time I wonder, “was this dude raised by animals?  Is he Mowgli from the Jungle Book?”  This date will probably goes as followed – he will ask you to grab a drink/dinner but then proceed to make a comment about the price of the food or how this is strictly a drink occasion only.  He will not have any social or flirty etiquette – holding the door, touching your hand or arm…nadda.  And when it comes to the check you will do the POLITE thing that girls do and offer to split the check – and this fucker will say “sure.”  This offer should NEVER be accepted – we are only offering because IT IS the polite thing to do but in reality we don’t want to drop any sort of cash.  During the night this guy will also proceed to drop the ever-so-evasive “just having fun” line – and you will just wonder why this guy just skipped this painful date and ask you just to at his apartment to bone.

However keep the faith because when it does finally click with the right type of guy….


1 Comment

  1. Is it bad when you’ve dated the guy who’s all these people in one?? Haha love this post! 🙂

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