If you haven’t seen it already, Renée Zellweger is no longer Renée Zellweger. Like, no joke – you probably wouldn’t even flinch if you were ten feet away from her at Starbucks. There is, as expected, an overabundance of both scrutiny and praise for her newly sculpted face. And if you’re like most of us, we’re having trouble absorbing all of this information and can really only say that we just feel…weird.

So here’s why:

1. We assume people that get plastic surgery should somewhat resemble Chucky.

Sorry for the creepy gif, but it was necessary.

First off, she actually looks pretty okay. Maybe a little older, but still okay. We are used to plastic surgery somewhat deforming and dehumanizing people’s faces. It is, after all, unnatural. She surprisingly didn’t completely botch her appearance by sporting the someone taped invisible scotch tape at the base of my cheeks and dragged them towards my ears look. She also didn’t paralyze her smile into a permanent betch face…like someone else we know.


So why is this such a big deal– celebrities get plastic surgery because they can, right? They have unfathomable amounts of cash lying around and they probably just get bored and are like, I think I want a new chin today. It’s like us, basic humans, when we want to be audacious and get a groundbreaking half-inch haircut. Well, the reason it’s a big deal is because she doesn’t look better than before, and she didn’t completely annihilate her face; she just looks like a completely different person. And unfortunately along the way, she lost her unconventional, patented and exquisite beauty that trademarked her identity.

2. You kind of miss her old face.

So, the reason you feel so weird about it? Well, because you kind of liked her old face and now it’s gone forever.

Now commencing the thirty second funeral for Bridget Jones and Roxie Hart…


It made you think for a second: Renée Zellweger, someone who seems reasonably together, who’s not super hopped up on drugs, and already adorable to the core is in fact as insecure as the rest of us. We’ll just blame it on the anonymous internet hounds and tabloids.


But before we pass judgment and symbolically tattoo her as nonsensically shallow, perhaps we can take a minute and recognize she might have just been suffering from a little something called low self esteem. Speculation has been placing the blame on the movie Frozen for falsely portraying the main characters with unrealistically large eyes emitting flawless, unattainable beauty.

So good job, Disney, you killed Bridget Jones.


Sam works full time in digital marketing at a web design agency and when she's not inhaling coffee, she likes to kill time mindlessly looking at ridiculously expensive real-estate online and listening to indie pandora. She hates winter, is allergic to almost everything outside, and one time forgot her shoes on her way to an interview.

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