I have a big family. There are 19 cousins on my mom’s side of the family, half of whom have gotten married within the past 5 years. So, you could say I’ve been to a lot of weddings recently. Though I do not have a serious boyfriend, and am not anywhere near getting married, I have started to realize what I do and don’t want at my wedding when the time comes. One of the things I definitely don’t want? A first dance.
There is no fucking point to having a first dance.
Why do you think I, a single lady, would want to watch you and your beloved dance around together all lovey-dovey for three minutes? You just made me sit through the ceremony for the past 30 minutes to an hour, where I was forced to pretend to look at you both in awe while you said your vows. Why are you forcing me to watch you even more? I get it, you’re in love. I’m pumped for you, but stop delaying me from getting my dance on. I understand that y’all are the “guests of honor” and your first dance kicks off the after party, but please don’t make it a slow, sappy song. Because honestly, the only people interested in watching you are your parents. Everyone else is on their phone or just waiting until they can get their groove on. (My feelings are the same for Mother-Son & Father-Daughter dances. If you’re going to do it, for the love of God, pick a good song).
Choreographed dances are even worse.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take time to do a choreographed dance. It is not ~trendy~, it’s obnoxious and often times cringe-worthy. Honestly, if the dance lasts longer than a minute, I tune out and start talking to whoever is sitting next to me about how much I hate first/choreographed dances. Most times, they agree with me. Don’t waste your time and money on a dance that no one else can really enjoy. It’ll end up being an eyesore for your attendees.
Seriously. Stop it.
Here are three things you SHOULD focus on instead.
To make a wedding successful, it should feel like a gathering of friends. Or better yet, just a party. Yes, it is a celebration of your love for one another, but honestly it’s more about your friends and family being together under one roof. In my opinion, there are three things you should focus on to make your wedding spectacular.
- Good food.
- Better booze.
- A high-quality band or DJ.
If you can successfully book a delicious caterer, are willing to spend money on top shelf liquor (if you can afford an open bar, I love you), and get a band that plays all the great hits, you’ve hit a home-run. It’s a win-win for you too! Your guests won’t be distracted from the celebration by complaining about the food, drink, or DJ, but will be focusing on what a great event you have put together. They will relish in all its glory, thus resulting in a night full of great memories.
The author sounds really bitter. Your time will come sweetie, but don’t take that frustration out on two people’s meaningful day. If a guest has to complain about the ceremony and the dances, and cannot value the importance of this huge step in their lives, then that guest should just not have come.