1. Tornado’s

Thanks to Twister, I was deathly afraid of tornado’s. Every time it rained, I was convinced cows and cars were going to start flying through the air and life as I knew it would be over.

2. The Tree at FAO Schwarz

Whoever made the above video is WRONG. There is no way something so creepy could bring a child joy. I mean, how scary is that tree?!

3. Older Kids

Even kids that were in the grade above us were slightly terrifying. Whether they were on the bus, in the halls, in the cafeteria, on your sports team, or at a birthday party – ahh. They were totally different from us — so much more mature and powerful. Stay. away.

4. London Fog from Sesame Street

I don’t know how Kermit kept his cool when around the London Fog. This guy was fucking terrifying.

5. Loud Noises

I was not afraid of loud noises (I was afraid of the unfamiliar – quiet), but I do know quite a few people who were. One person had to be taken out of the school before fire drills. I won’t name names…

6. Buying Lunch

Okay this was probably – definitely – just me. I just didn’t want to wait in a line (standard) and I didn’t want to eat weird foods. Pickiest child ever.

7. The Haunted Mansion

And the Magic Kingdom was supposed to be full of fun and happiness… HA. This ride was involved some messed up shit. Scared. Fah dayssss.

8. Hamburgers

Okay, maybe this wasn’t normal… but I was terrified of hamburgers when I was younger. Maybe it was because the Hamburgler was kind of freaky, but chicken nuggets were more my speed. Now, I would eat meat… just not when it was in hamburger form. Why? I have no idea. I love burgers now.

9. Are You Afraid of the Dark

Why yes, I am afraid of the dark. Tell me again why I should watch your show?  Or not… because I’m going to anyway. Nickelodeon was the coolest. I mean, Disney would never air a scary show. Duh.

10. Bugs

Still afraid. VERY AFRAID.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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